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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Several years ago I had an affair with someone I work ...

Customer Question

Several years ago I had an affair with someone I work with. I have tried many times to end this, but he actually shed tears and begged me to remain friends since we work together. I began to realize that he was really trying to become more than friends, and at that point, I just wanted to be free of him. He is in an administrative position, so I must deal with him. He has now almost began to threaten me with statements like, "All I want is to be friends." "You''ll be sorry if you don''t try to be friends". I am now worried that he may expose the relationship to my husband. One of the reasons that I have put up with him is that my husband suffers from advanced prostate cancer, and I really don''t want to have to put him through this, however, I am so sick of this Isituation, that if he does expose this affair, I am ready to deal with it. I told him, I will not be threatened into doing anything I don''t want to do. If he causes my family pain, is there legal recourse I can take?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Afraid,

You're in a very difficult situation. You could get a restraining order if he keeps harassing you, but you work with him. You could report him at work, but then it will come out. Even if you were able to do either of those things, he could still figure out some way to let your husband know. There's not much you can do legally, because technically you did have an affair with him, so even a sexual harassment claim would be difficult to explain. You might just want to calm him by letting him know that you are friends, but you're dealing with a lot right now, and if he won't let it go, you might consider just telling your husband thereby taking away all of this man's ammunition. (You might also consider being very upset, and telling him that you already told your husband, and see if he goes for it...tell him your husband is furious and there was a huge argument)


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Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Thanks for your answer. I guess I already knew it was going to be that, and was only hoping I could threaten with legal recourse. I guess I deserve this, and will have to deal with it.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

I'm sorry I don't have a better answer for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope it works out for the best.