You have to decide on a few things. First of all you have to decide who you are living your life for? Are you living your life for you or are you living your life for other people? Other people who have made their decisions about their lives and are now trying to make decisions about yours. You've made mistakes, your first wife made mistakes, but if there is real love there and a chance to make things right with her, you have to give it a try.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I think the biggest part of your second marriage is the fact that you've not consummated the marriage, this would not be as bad for her, if you had of consummated it, correct? Yes, I do know that her family would be upset, and she would be upset, but its just as unfair to stay with her if you do not love her the way you should love someone you are married to.
One thing you need to contemplate.....is it your pride that is making you want your first wife or is it really love? Sometimes when things don't work out the way we think they should we have a hard time letting it go. Sometimes when another person treats us very badly, and we cant get them to love us or treat us the way we think they should, our ego finds it hard to let go and move on as we think if we just had one more try, we could get it right.
You have to really examine your motives. Your motives for marrying your second wife, your motives for wanting to get back with your first wife, and make a decision based on how you really feel. If your first wife treated you badly and you feel that it may never get better, it may be best to cut ties with her and live your life happily with your second wife. If however you only married the 2nd wife to get back at the 1st, and you really love the first and think it can work out, then you owe it to your second wife to tell her the truth and do what's right.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk me