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TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1704
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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My wife is leaving me. I have not been able to make myself ...

Customer Question

My wife is leaving me. I have not been able to make myself vulnerable to her, not by choice, but by instinct. I love her very much and am beginning to explore my inner-self through counseling and study. I am wanting to be supportive of her for she is the one that is hurting and looking for relief. Should I financially help her? Should I help her move? I want to be there for her in every way, but I don't know how far to go in my attempts to support her. Obviously, every ounce of my being is pulling in the exact opposite direction. I know that I can only repair myself, for this relationship or at least for future relationships to survive and pushing her to stay will only worsen things. But, how far do I go in supporting her?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Robby,

How long have you been together?

What are your ages?

Is your inability to open to her the only reason she is leaving?

Have you asked her to stay? if so, what was her response?

Has she asked you for these things?

Chase

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: We have been together 6 years. She is 28 and I am 35. We have very opposite ways of showing love and this has been misconstrued as a lack of love for each other and has slowly beaten us down through the years. (only learned this this week through reading books on love and relationships) However, her moving out is out of the blue without a warning. I guess in her mind she has been telling me for a long time her need for more intamacy. I have asked her to stay but she says she can't trust me and that she needs some time away from me. She has already cleared more than half of the money in our bank account and continues to use the credit cards even though she agreed to stop if I continued to pay the note. I have told her to take everything she needs from the house to be comfortable. I want to help her, but I have limited resources as well. Should I continue to financially support her and if I don't, should I worry about this pushing her further away? What's the middle ground?