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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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my boss borrowed me money for 1000.00 to help me buy ...

Customer Question

my boss borrowed me money for 1000.00 to help me buy an old car.i bought the car but later my son sold it and bought an old car too.but my car was broken and my friend helped me buy a new one without putting any penny on the new car.when my boss knew that i bought a new car she jumped on me and asked me if i have a new car.i said yes and she told me that i don''t have the right to buy a new car since i still owe her the money.and since then she treated me like an enemy.she would always talk to me in an angry i''m not happy w/my job and the husband called me and told me that i don''t have gratitude because her wife gave me an increase and yet i did this to them .but what did i do wrong?my friend just bought me a new car?it is not even under my name because i don''t have good credit .now every time she calls me togo to her room i feel this fear that she would always be mad at she had written memos that i was given warnign that i can not work overtime w/out her presence.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Irene

You said that you paid her the money back?

Who is paying for the new car?

Did you tell her you are not paying anything for the car?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
yes,i paid her the next day she came to me.3/4/8.
I'm paying for the new car.
I told her that i got the new car with no penny came from my pocket.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.


You didn't do anything wrong. I understand that she lent you the money, but that doesn't mean that she can control your life. If the older car wasn't working, then you had to make a decision. Although she did not like your decision, she should still respect the decision you made, as you are an adult and it was yours to make.

If you've already spoken to her and tried to explain things to her, there's really not much else you can do. You can start speaking to her and 'killing her with kindness', meaning every time you see her, smile and act cordial. Give her compliments here and there, pick her up some coffee on your way in, and just be really nice to her like nothing ever happened. Not sucking up, but being nice as if you were still friends. Asking how she is, giving her a sincere compliment, even if she still acts standoffish, just ignore it.

After a while, she will see that her meanness and anger is not hurting anyone but herself. Even if she does go back to acting normal, I would be careful about letting yourself get too close to her again and I certainly wouldn't borrow money from her again, since if you do, she wants to control what you do with it.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more