Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship
This answer was rated:

Psychological term entrenchment ...explain this behavior.

I was told I was...
I was told I was entrenched in my present lifestyle... house, dog, garden, friends, preventing me from being truly free.
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 12 minutes by:
3/11/2008
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Verified

Hello Frances,

May I ask who told you this?

What is your age?

Do you enjoy your lifestyle or are you unhappy or unfulfilled?

Chase

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago

Hello. Yesterday, my ex-boyfriend/fiancee of 7 moonths, after kind of dumping me, called; and in the conversation, he blamed me for the breakup because of my strong will, my stubborn personality...I precluded the advancement of the relationship. He also told me that I have to change and adjust to more what he wants me to be...and he could not tell me what he wanted to be changed. I mentioned to him that since I had become intimate with him, he had become very important to me.

He then said, "You hjave ENTRENCHED YOURSELF" by your unwillingness to trust me, and also your refusal to divulge to me your finances and haved dragged on about our prenups. You have also shown your mistrust of me by refusing to combine your monthly income with mine so that we coul live well. To me, you have shown great mistrust; and I was looking for some signs of atonement from you. Is this normal?

I am 72 and he is 76; and money seems not to be the issue, though he points to it all the tiem. How is the best way for me to get over this guy and tell him something that would let him know I am done. How can I forget him? He was attentive, nice, sweet... up until the money and the mistrust char

 

Hello Frances,

It's not uncommon when we get older to become more 'set in our ways'. Entrenched would imply that you are going to do things your way and not change a single thing in your life or schedule for anything or anyone. I'm not sure this describes you, nor am I convinced that he's qualified to make this assessment. It's not uncommon for men to be paranoid, or distrustful of a woman who is strong willed or stubborn (if you'll excuse me for saying so, particularly in that age range where he may be from a period where women were not so self sufficient and more defendant on them).

"adjust to more what he wants" you to be? You've been dating 7 months and he wants to change you AND have you divulge you finances to him AND combine your monthly incomes? He can't be serious, and you can't be thinking this is right? Seven months is barely enough time to get to know someone, no less combine finances or be asked to change your way of life. Atonement? Atonement is a pretty loaded word....he's no judge, nor is he your god, why would you need to atone to him? Money is certainly/obviously an issue here. If you want to forget about him, think about how much of a bully he sounds like, and how eager he is to 'combine finances'/ You didn't work and come this far to have someone else reap the benefits of your finances. If he really cared about you, he would want to do whatever it took to make you feel comfortable. Prenups can be canceled, if lets say you were married for two years and felt it was no longer necessary. It's not about the prenup, the money, it's about you not doing what he wants you to do, when he wants you to do it.

I understand that it may have been nice to have someone to be with that showed you attention, and was sweet, but his ulterior motives bely that sweetness, and you have to protect yourself. If he's not willing to compromise with you and i he continues to feel the need to (in my opinion) subtly put you down, then you will be better off without him

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Warmly

Chase

 

Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Verified
Ms Chase and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Ms. Chase, I have to at least tell him something; and that isnot a problem. How does none get over the fact that this is the case. Is it most helpful just to get busy; is there any quick way to get over the emoitnal impact of being dumped? Thanks! If you can give me a few pointers, then I could pay the $9 and be "on my way". better of than before I asked the questions. Thanks! Fran
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Was this answer helpful?
Ask Ms Chase Your Own Question
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
2,897 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Ms Chase is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

2,897 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
My boyfriend and I live two hours apart he lives out in the
My boyfriend and I live two hours apart he lives out in the country and he is a contractor he checks into his plant/office once a week to get supplies and then travels all over Texas for work. I on th… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I just wanted a random opinion my boyfriend broke up with me
I just wanted a random opinion my boyfriend broke up with me last wk over a really small issue he said never talk to me again have a nice life delete me and then he blocked me!! … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
Whats the best way to meet and date people from different
Whats the best way to meet and date people from different countries in Shanghai. is there an online website that caters to this?… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
I've been with my bf for over 8 months and we started out in
I've been with my bf for over 8 months and we started out in a pretty unique situation. He was in the middle of an intense and expensive custody battle with his ex wife. They've been divorced for 10yr… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
I need some help. I was with a man for two and a half years.
I need some help. I was with a man for two and a half years. He is married. He swore up and down he would leave and even initiated the divorce process. This went on for a few months and when I didn't … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Me and my finace have been together for a year. Our
Me and my finace have been together for a year. Our relationship moved quickly. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and he feels the same. We argue ALOT. He has a 4yr old daughter that I haven… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
My boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago after 7 year
My boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago after 7 year relationship. He has distanced himself from family & friends & acting completely different. How do I move on? I'm not over him, didn't want the … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
Iam looking for help please with my anger issue it's really
Hi there My name is ***** ***** looking for help please with my anger issue it's really frustrated me iam about to post my partner because off this matter I can't get rid off it 2 days ago I went back… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
I have a situation about someone whom I was in contact for a
I have a situation about someone whom I was in contact for a week and I was wondering if you can help me with that … read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
446 satisfied customers
There, I have a dating/relationship question? is it the
second opinion] Hey there, I have a dating/relationship question? is it the place? thanks in advance, Josef. … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
My husband's parents are in their late 60 ties. They have no
My husband's parents are in their late 60 ties. They have no financial sense and spend more than they earn. They always expect my husband to support them financially but refuse to reduce their budget … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
My partner is jealous of my relationship with my grown son.
My partner is jealous of my relationship with my grown son. He told him to P**** off when he visited me from interstate. And now he thinks he has done nothing wrong … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
I'm a woman married to a good man but lately I find myself
I'm a woman married to a good man but lately I find myself thinking more and more about my ex. I miss him and if not for my mother I might still be with him...I know my husband loves me but lately I'm… read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
Is he pulling away, or busy and still interested?” I'm
Is he pulling away, or busy and still interested?”Hi. I'm chandy. I have another relationship question. I sensed the guy I've been talking to Long - distance is “ pulling away “. He doesn't voice mess… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Bit embarrassing but my partner and I are having some
Hello,Bit embarrassing but my partner and I are having some trouble in the bedroom and it is causing problems.Basically we are both virgins and want to do it but struggle to get it in.Sorry but would … read more
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
My wife and I have the same argument, about once a week, and
My wife and I have the same argument, about once a week, and it has been going on for 22 years. I say something. She feels compelled to tell me her alternative view, or her opinion, or why she does it… read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I just started dating this man about a month ago. We have
I just started dating this man about a month ago. We have this incredible connection and comfortability around each other. We both have been amazed at how strong the bond is. We are both brutally hone… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Even not sure from where to start. Maybe more than a month
Hello, Even not sure from where to start. Maybe more than a month ago I meet a girl. I didn't have a lot of girls during my life, but because of general people behavior with their big EGO, I don't rea… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x