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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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My son has been in love with a good christian girl for

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My son has been in love with a good christian girl for years. He too now is a christian for over 1 year. Finally, they announced in July 07 they are a couple. All was wonderful making plans for marrige. They everything changed when he was accepted to the police academy. He has been so engaged in school he started pulling away from Danielle. Spending less and less time with her. She has been so upset with his change. He told me tonight that he has been praying to god to show him what he is to do. He told me he loves her but not in love with her. I am worried that school has taken his focus for of her and has placed it of school. Tonight, he ended the relationship he waited soooo long for. She is so sad and I am helpless for her. I think he has made a huge mistake and once school is over he will realize it. In your opion do you think it is school that has caused him to break up or could feeling change so quickly. Joey is not someone who can do more one thing at a time. Help a sad mom
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Sincere

How old are they?

how long were they dating?

How long was he in love with her before they became a couple?

Did she always feel the same about him? If so, why did it take so long for them to become a couple?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: He is 26 and she is 23. They finally starting dating in July 07. Joey was in love with Danielle for 6 years, but he was called to war and at the time was not a saved christian so she would not agree to date him. After about 6 months he decided to give his life to god. Not for her but for him. He says God saved his life. She always loved him but could not have a relationship with a non christian. He said he had to go to God for himself not for Danielle and that if he heart was not in it for God that he would have rather remain friends. Joey, is a wonderful christian, no problems before school. Now his only focus is school and God Danielle has taken a back seat. She is so sad and so am I. I know this break up is not over someone else, he claims he loves her but he's no longer in love with her. I am wondering if he may have his heart clouded by not being able to focus on more than one thing. How can feelings change so quickly? Do you think he will figure this out after school comes to an end? They have never been sexual at all. He told me tonight that he thinks God has called him to be single and it is not fair to hurt her or lead her on. I am sick about this because I too love her. She is truly an amazing person. He too will tell you that. Help! Please give you advice on what you think. Do you see them getting back together???
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Sincere,

Sometimes when we want something so badly, that when we finally get it, it's just not everything we thought it would be. Perhaps he built her up so far in his mind, or built up being in a relationship, so much in his mind that it was a sort of letdown when it finally happened. Also, it definitely could be the fact of him going to school, perhaps she proves to be too much of a distraction for him and he would prefer to focus so that he can pass his class.

Personally, I think it's very big of him to make the decision to break things off, rather than stay in the relationship if his heart isn't in it. He deserves respect for making a mature choice that most men would avoid these days. I understand that you love her, and there's nothing that says that you cannot remain friends with her as long as it does not interfere in your sons life. There may be one or two or there may be many women that come into his life who are amazing, and that you will really like, but the fact is, it's his choice and ultimately you have to respect that he will make choices that make sense to him, and work for his life.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more


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