Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship

NEED TO MAKE SURE THIS WORKS BEFORE I TYPE MY QUESTION

Customer Question
NEED TO MAKE SURE THIS...
NEED TO MAKE SURE THIS WORKS BEFORE I TYPE MY QUESTION
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 1 minute by:
3/8/2008
Counselor: Lindie, Parent replied 9 years ago
Lindie
Lindie, Parent
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,490
Experience: Parent/Step Mother: With 20+ years experience.
Verified

Let's see if this will work.

Hello,

If you don't mind answering a few questions this will give me a better idea.

How long have you both been married?

Any kids together?

Is this the first time he has said anything about the "marriage" itself?

What occurred to lead him up to saying what he did?

Are you happy with him?

Thank you,

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
we have been married 7 years.   two kids of mine from a previous marriage. Yes he has not liked being married however likes my companionship and my looks and knows it is good for his career to be married. He has broken my heart for 7 years but he makes $170,000 I make nothing I have been in economic poverty before and we agreed that this was through thick and thin. The difference between this and the other fights is he said we are too different to be married you are too nice and i am a jerk. I am a white collar jerk and have no emotion and you need someone with some emotion.   What led up to this well with our $42,000 balance I made a purchase to the grocery store for $32.00 and he said I was be irresponsible.   His drinking is about $150 a month. I don't drink... I drained my savings and but it in his account with his name only.

I say I am happy because I do not want to be in economic poverty and yes when he does not strike out at me i am happy.. it just puts me down and in bed for five days when he does this he has no clue. His way of making up is to wash my car.

i do love him very much.. i just don't love what he does.. and he is totally clueless and says that had never hurt me.....well the truth is in the reports yes he has.. be not now... i just need the guts to talk to someone i have an attorney appt on tuesday.... ineed to make sure i will recieve at least $3,000 in alimony.. h makes $8,000 gross every two weeks.

HELP
Counselor: Lindie, Parent replied 9 years ago

If you are there for the money, and he is there for companionship and the looks for his career, then that is NO marriage.

You say he was burned in the past.. well, a lot of people generally are if they were in a previous relationship. But that was then and this is now. If he can't treat you as you deserve, then it would be best to see if you can get alimony if you were to divorce.

You say you love him, but you don't say if deep down he loves you. If there is love on both sides, then it could work out.. but love, compromise etc. needs to be done or it will not work. And as I'm sure you know, it does take 2 people to make a relationship and marriage to work out. It can't be one sided.

I'm sorry he won't see a counselor, as it would probably do him wonders. Plus it may even be good if he were to possibly be evaluated for a low dose antidepressant as well. As it sounds like he is just not happy in general. Which then he takes it out on you.

It's really true when people say one has to love themselves before they can really love someone else. And it doesn't seem like he is happy.

I don't know what kind of speaking terms you are both on, or if you would like this to work out. But if he won't "talk" to you.. then perhaps write him a letter. Tell him how you feel, and what you would like. Also mention what good things there are about him as well. And perhaps there are things you miss that use to occur between you both.

Remind him that you are not his ex and you just want to live as a family etc.

But he will need to change and find out what makes him happy too. If he is not willing then nothing will get better and things can actually get worse. Keep in mind that nobody can make you feel bad, unless you let them. So keep your head up because you are a good person and deserve to be happy. I know you have some medical issues that prevent you from earning an income. But don't let him take anything away from you. Be strong.. don't cry over him.
And if writing that letter doesn't help, then chances are he is right. He's a jerk and you need to find a way to better your situation, if that means a divorce, alimony, lump sum payment etc.

I hope this helps and gives you a different perspective of looking at all this.

If you need anything else please feel free to ask. If you found this helpful don't forget to click the *ACCEPT* button and please take a moment to leave me *POSITIVE* feedback.

Lindie
Lindie, Parent
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,490
Experience: Parent/Step Mother: With 20+ years experience.
Verified
Lindie and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
are you there or busy..just hoping to get a response to you.. i know that relationships are very up and down or that is all I know about relationships... I am numb and have destroyed all my emotions because of his rudeness and lack of compassion for the world.
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
YOU WERE EXCELLENT THANK YOU I have given you a $5.00 bonus plus the 30.00
Counselor: Lindie, Parent replied 9 years ago

Thank you.. And I'm on usually every day.. so if things change or you just need someone to talk to.. let me know..

I wish you ALL the best.. Take care of you too!!!

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Ask Lindie Your Own Question
Lindie
Lindie
Lindie, Parent
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,490
5,490 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Parent/Step Mother: With 20+ years experience.

Lindie is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,714 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

336 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I am having issues with my 23 yr old son whom got involved
Second opinion] I am having issues with my 23 yr old son whom got involved with a 29 yr old woman 3 yrs ago and this woman used a my friendship that I gave her when I first met her. I met her in 2014 … read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Doctor
Doctoral Degree
336 satisfied customers
My husband and I are on the verge of separation because he
My husband and I are on the verge of separation because he refuses to support my attempts at discipline and boundaries for his adult son (he's 19) who still lives with us. He continues to drink and sm… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
169 satisfied customers
I texted my ex that i miss him but he did not reply. Should
i texted my ex that i miss him but he did not reply … read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Doctor
Doctoral Degree
336 satisfied customers
How do I handle anxiety, specifically with jealousy? I am in
Hi, How do I handle anxiety, specifically with jealousy? I am in a LDR (long distance relationship) with a woman from Indonesia (I'm Australian). She is sociable whereas I'm not so. What the issue is … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
169 satisfied customers
My boyfriend of almost four year and i-we perhaps broke up
my boyfriend of almost four year and i-we perhaps broke up and im in pain. i know he has reservations and the conversation was long overdue. i asked if letting the convo out could possible help us to … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
951 satisfied customers
How to deal with a husband who wants to live the single
How to deal with a husband who wants to live the single life? He travels for work and is gone a lot. It hurts me to think of him with someone else. … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I have attached a file. It tells more detail about the issue
I have attached a file. It tells more detail about the issue with my son. it is not formatted though so it may take a while to read because I had typed it on here but it was too many characters so I h… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
951 satisfied customers
I recently scared a man away. He told me things are not
I recently scared a man away. He told me things are not working out well because i came on kinda strong... so I apologized and explained to him that because i havnt dated over 3 years and just got a l… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,714 satisfied customers
I told a woman I was romantically involved with that I can't
I told a woman I was romantically involved with that I can't be her friend right now. She needs time to get her life in order before she's ready to be in a relationship. Well it's only been a little o… read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Doctor
Doctoral Degree
336 satisfied customers
I am still single. I worked in a food and beverages company
Hello my name is ***** ***** I am still single. I worked in a food and beverages company as a Manager. I have my team and looks like one of my staff is have a crush on me. The location of the office a… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,714 satisfied customers
Saw him 7 Times. Strong attraction but anxious about having
Saw him 7 Times. Strong attraction but anxious about having sex. He says he can't take rejection. Stayed by me twice and I asked him to leave cause I'm not use to this and I couldn't sleep. He says he… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
951 satisfied customers
Hypothetical example here, but it happens: please comment on
Hypothetical example here, but it happens: please comment on someone who can not find a positive companion, say they are bullied, what is the opinion about using pornography like pictures or phone cal… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,714 satisfied customers
If a date kiss you passionately all day, but never call
If a date kiss you passionately all day, but never call back. I think we was not mach or what? … read more
Martin
Martin
Electrical engineer
Bachelor's Degree
486 satisfied customers
I'm dating a woman with 3 kids, she finalized her divorce
I'm dating a woman with 3 kids, she finalized her divorce after dating me for 4 months, she was separated for almost 2 years at that point. We have been together 13 months now, have both started going to counseling … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
951 satisfied customers
I am currently confused as to whether this guy is trying to
Hello! I am currently confused as to whether this guy is trying to make me jealous or is moving on … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
951 satisfied customers
My husband and I have been together for about 6 years. I am
Hello, my husband and I have been together for about 6 years. I am 25 he is 31... everything is pretty good in all aspects except our love life. We are not making love, kissing, or touching. My husban… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
951 satisfied customers
I dated a guy for 2 years and he broke up with me because I
I dated a guy for 2 years and he broke up with me because I was not giving him enough time. We work together and things ended really bad because he started sleeping with another co worker. We didn't s… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
951 satisfied customers
I am having a severe problem with my adult daughters. In
I am having a severe problem with my adult daughters. In January they announced that they and their families were going to move from Ny to Fla. Up until that point we had a very close relationship, bo… read more
Angela
Angela
Counselor
490 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x