Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship

NEED TO MAKE SURE THIS WORKS BEFORE I TYPE MY QUESTION

Customer Question
NEED TO MAKE SURE THIS...
NEED TO MAKE SURE THIS WORKS BEFORE I TYPE MY QUESTION
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 1 minute by:
3/8/2008
Counselor: Lindie, Parent replied 9 years ago
Lindie
Lindie, Parent
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,490
Experience: Parent/Step Mother: With 20+ years experience.
Verified

Let's see if this will work.

Hello,

If you don't mind answering a few questions this will give me a better idea.

How long have you both been married?

Any kids together?

Is this the first time he has said anything about the "marriage" itself?

What occurred to lead him up to saying what he did?

Are you happy with him?

Thank you,

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
we have been married 7 years.   two kids of mine from a previous marriage. Yes he has not liked being married however likes my companionship and my looks and knows it is good for his career to be married. He has broken my heart for 7 years but he makes $170,000 I make nothing I have been in economic poverty before and we agreed that this was through thick and thin. The difference between this and the other fights is he said we are too different to be married you are too nice and i am a jerk. I am a white collar jerk and have no emotion and you need someone with some emotion.   What led up to this well with our $42,000 balance I made a purchase to the grocery store for $32.00 and he said I was be irresponsible.   His drinking is about $150 a month. I don't drink... I drained my savings and but it in his account with his name only.

I say I am happy because I do not want to be in economic poverty and yes when he does not strike out at me i am happy.. it just puts me down and in bed for five days when he does this he has no clue. His way of making up is to wash my car.

i do love him very much.. i just don't love what he does.. and he is totally clueless and says that had never hurt me.....well the truth is in the reports yes he has.. be not now... i just need the guts to talk to someone i have an attorney appt on tuesday.... ineed to make sure i will recieve at least $3,000 in alimony.. h makes $8,000 gross every two weeks.

HELP
Counselor: Lindie, Parent replied 9 years ago

If you are there for the money, and he is there for companionship and the looks for his career, then that is NO marriage.

You say he was burned in the past.. well, a lot of people generally are if they were in a previous relationship. But that was then and this is now. If he can't treat you as you deserve, then it would be best to see if you can get alimony if you were to divorce.

You say you love him, but you don't say if deep down he loves you. If there is love on both sides, then it could work out.. but love, compromise etc. needs to be done or it will not work. And as I'm sure you know, it does take 2 people to make a relationship and marriage to work out. It can't be one sided.

I'm sorry he won't see a counselor, as it would probably do him wonders. Plus it may even be good if he were to possibly be evaluated for a low dose antidepressant as well. As it sounds like he is just not happy in general. Which then he takes it out on you.

It's really true when people say one has to love themselves before they can really love someone else. And it doesn't seem like he is happy.

I don't know what kind of speaking terms you are both on, or if you would like this to work out. But if he won't "talk" to you.. then perhaps write him a letter. Tell him how you feel, and what you would like. Also mention what good things there are about him as well. And perhaps there are things you miss that use to occur between you both.

Remind him that you are not his ex and you just want to live as a family etc.

But he will need to change and find out what makes him happy too. If he is not willing then nothing will get better and things can actually get worse. Keep in mind that nobody can make you feel bad, unless you let them. So keep your head up because you are a good person and deserve to be happy. I know you have some medical issues that prevent you from earning an income. But don't let him take anything away from you. Be strong.. don't cry over him.
And if writing that letter doesn't help, then chances are he is right. He's a jerk and you need to find a way to better your situation, if that means a divorce, alimony, lump sum payment etc.

I hope this helps and gives you a different perspective of looking at all this.

If you need anything else please feel free to ask. If you found this helpful don't forget to click the *ACCEPT* button and please take a moment to leave me *POSITIVE* feedback.

Lindie
Lindie, Parent
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,490
Experience: Parent/Step Mother: With 20+ years experience.
Verified
Lindie and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
are you there or busy..just hoping to get a response to you.. i know that relationships are very up and down or that is all I know about relationships... I am numb and have destroyed all my emotions because of his rudeness and lack of compassion for the world.
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
YOU WERE EXCELLENT THANK YOU I have given you a $5.00 bonus plus the 30.00
Counselor: Lindie, Parent replied 9 years ago

Thank you.. And I'm on usually every day.. so if things change or you just need someone to talk to.. let me know..

I wish you ALL the best.. Take care of you too!!!

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Ask Lindie Your Own Question
Lindie
Lindie
Lindie, Parent
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,490
5,490 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Parent/Step Mother: With 20+ years experience.

Lindie is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
You're not a robot? Just need help dealing with my
Just need help dealing with my boyfriend's family. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Iam looking for help please with my anger issue it's really
Hi there My name is ***** ***** looking for help please with my anger issue it's really frustrated me iam about to post my partner because off this matter I can't get rid off it 2 days ago I went back… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
There, I have a dating/relationship question? is it the
second opinion] Hey there, I have a dating/relationship question? is it the place? thanks in advance, Josef. … read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
My husband's parents are in their late 60 ties. They have no
My husband's parents are in their late 60 ties. They have no financial sense and spend more than they earn. They always expect my husband to support them financially but refuse to reduce their budget … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I have a situation about someone whom I was in contact for a
I have a situation about someone whom I was in contact for a week and I was wondering if you can help me with that … read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
446 satisfied customers
My partner is jealous of my relationship with my grown son.
My partner is jealous of my relationship with my grown son. He told him to P**** off when he visited me from interstate. And now he thinks he has done nothing wrong … read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
I'm a woman married to a good man but lately I find myself
I'm a woman married to a good man but lately I find myself thinking more and more about my ex. I miss him and if not for my mother I might still be with him...I know my husband loves me but lately I'm… read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
Is he pulling away, or busy and still interested?” I'm
Is he pulling away, or busy and still interested?”Hi. I'm chandy. I have another relationship question. I sensed the guy I've been talking to Long - distance is “ pulling away “. He doesn't voice mess… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
My wife and I have the same argument, about once a week, and
My wife and I have the same argument, about once a week, and it has been going on for 22 years. I say something. She feels compelled to tell me her alternative view, or her opinion, or why she does it… read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I just started dating this man about a month ago. We have
I just started dating this man about a month ago. We have this incredible connection and comfortability around each other. We both have been amazed at how strong the bond is. We are both brutally hone… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Bit embarrassing but my partner and I are having some
Hello,Bit embarrassing but my partner and I are having some trouble in the bedroom and it is causing problems.Basically we are both virgins and want to do it but struggle to get it in.Sorry but would … read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
Even not sure from where to start. Maybe more than a month
Hello, Even not sure from where to start. Maybe more than a month ago I meet a girl. I didn't have a lot of girls during my life, but because of general people behavior with their big EGO, I don't rea… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
From what I remember in my dream, I went to visit him in his
From what I remember in my dream, I went to visit him in his room (hospital setting) because I've missed him and recall I had to match my emotions with someone in order to see him. I believe the emoti… read more
ASacks
ASacks
Neurodevelopmental Psychologist
Master of Education in Educational Psychology
1 satisfied customers
I have a guy been dating for a month He asked me for 2000
I have a guy been dating for a month He asked me for 2000 dollars to make rent He seems like a good guy but I do not feel this is a normal request when dating for such a short time… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
To -Michaels. The story I told before. Movie I went with
To John-Michaels. The story I told before. Movie I went with girl, I planned to watch with my friend who brought her to our company. Instead I went with her. And he become angry. We don't speak now. P… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
Thanks for speaking with me. Well I guess I'm just hoping to
Hello, thanks for speaking with me. Well I guess I'm just hoping to get an opinion on the possibility of a recent relationship of mine being salvageable … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
In college and met a guy through a mutual organization. We
In college and met a guy through a mutual organization. We hung out almost everyday and became very very close. He was always hung up on his high school girlfriend and I was interested in him and alwa… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
172 satisfied customers
I am a fairly new divorcee who started dating a man a few
I am a fairly new divorcee who started dating a man a few months ago. We really care about each other and he treats me respectfully ***** ***** a very kind heart. We both have pretty severe depression… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x