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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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my family is tearimg my marriage apart and i dont know ...

Customer Question

my family is tearimg my marriage apart and i dont know what to do their starting problems and their ungrateful im losing and im scared i dont want another heart break and im scared what should i do?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Angela

How long have you been married?

What are your ages?

What kinds of problems are they starting?

how is he reacting?

What have you tried so far?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
we've been married for 4 months, he's 20 and im 21. it all started when my grandma had no to move and no where to go so we took in my 2 sisters they ate up everything and we weren't used to that and i have to eat because im pregant and 2 weeks later we let my mom stay here and thays when things got bad we went to file our taxes and she said we could claim my brother tony and 2 weeks later we didnt get our money because they said he was already claimed and we had went to get a car and had to return it because we couldnt pay them so we were pretty upset and thats when we told herto take the car back and it took her almost 3 hours and he was even madder than. So she came back and with my grandma and my grandma brought some food for us because that was part of the deal with $200 dollars which we didnt get the money. The kids left with her back out there where my grandma stayed and they were gone for a week and when they came back my grandma spent the night and she had my cousin angel, and 2 of my lil brothers everything was fine until in the morning the cearel he bought was gone well one box anyway and the only cearel he eats was openedand half way gone they end up leaving and he seen that and was real mad and it was partly my fault because i seen one person eat it and i failed to mention that not on purpose and he got mad at them and me we were arguing a lot since they been here and i hate it and cant take. and most of the arguments we used to have were my fault but i've changed my ways because i was scared to lose him. then not even a week later my sister tells me that while my mom and grandma were here they said that my husband was gonna stop doing for my daughter once the baby was born and he said that the girls had to go because my mom and grandma were starting trouble well thats when i told my sister nicole what he he said and my brother paul whos 18 called and threanted me my husband and i didn't like that. Then my sister i guess told my mom that she didnt say that, that i assumed they aid it and he was taking it as they need to come get them and we have no car to take them back to my grandma and they claim they have no way to come get them. We dont argue as much no more since i've changed and we dont talk to my mom and them my daughter is part of the problem she wakes up in the middle of the night and he has to work and wake up early and he loves her she just gets on both of our nerves but thats my baby and were ready for the girls to leave im stressing and de in 2 months. He can't stand to be in his own house and that kills me because he's suppost to always wanna come home and it hurts cuz he doesn't want to come home. It's a long story but thats my story. I haven't tried anything yet but not talking to them their my family please help me. he's thinking about leaving me he said hes not happy no more hes tired of pretending please give me an answer soon ive been waiting 3 days now. I told him i dont wanna be a single mother with 2 kids and thats what im gonna be why did i trust my heart now i have a broken one.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hi Angela,

I apologize, I did not see your response. I'm a little at a loss here because everything I would think you need to do, you've already said you can't do. My first thoughts would be to clean house, and not allow all of these family members run over you in your house. You're right, the home is a place where he should want to come, but no one wants to come home to a 3 ring circus. If your family is starting trouble and can't respect you or your husband, then they may have to go, there may be no other choice. You have to be the one to control your home and what happens there. As for your daughter waking up in the middle of the night, maybe there's too much going on in the house and it's interrupting her sleep. Either way, he has to understand that, sure she's waking up, but what's he going to do when the baby comes? It's a lot of pressure all the way around, you have to remember that you can't be everything for everybody, its just not possible, and being under all of this stress could cause you to have complications with your pregnancy. You have to relax and make your house a home that is comfortable for you first, then him, then your children and if after that, you have room to let someone stay with you, they have to go by your rules and if they can't they can't stay.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.