My response to you is sort of simplistic in nature, but please don't take that to mean that I have not given all of your information thought. I just think that you have answered your own question.
While you have moved on from substance abuse, he has not. While you want to care for your son, care for your home, and make a better life for yourself, he isn't even trying. He's disrespecting you, your son, and your home.
You have put your past behind you, and from everything I can see have a good grasp on why you did it, and that you're not interested in returning to that lifestyle. If you want to have your life, it sounds like you're going to have to reclaim your life. If you don't feel that he's going to change, or that he's even interested in discussing change, then it's time to make a decision. I have a feeling that you know this already, it may be that you need to hear it confirmed by someone else, or that you still have some fears inside of you. However, I am talking to a smart woman who sounds like she's capable of making whatever needs to happen, happen.
If he's willing to get a handle on his alcohol abuse, start being a 50/50 partner around the house and with your son, giving you the respect you deserve as his son's mother and compromise on your other complaints, then perhaps this could be worked out. Only you will be able to know if this is possible.
I welcome your thoughts, and of course I am here if you want to talk more.