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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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dated my gf for6 months. met her when she was a waitress in ...

Customer Question

dated my gf for6 months. met her when she was a waitress in a restaurant. 1 month into the relationship, she got a job working in a bar

i told her when she working in the restaurant, and then again when she moved to the bar, that i didnt want to come into where she worked, because i would be uncomfortable. the only time i went into the bar was when she went in to check it out to see if she wanted to work there.

the whole time we dated, i never went in to the bar besides that one time. i was also gone for 6 weeks in the middle of the relationship. due to the fact that she had to work on the weekends, we never got to go out together. we spent a lot of time together, but it was always just us. she would occasioanlly ask me what i was doing for the night, on weekends, and i would tell her that me and my friends would probably go out to a bar for a while. she would also tell me sometimes she could get me deals at her bar, but i again would tell her i didnt want to come in.

because of this, we didnt really meet e3ach others friends. a lot of her friends were made through working at the bar with the other waitress's. i thought that it may bother her that i didnt come in, so i asked her if it did. she said 'no, i just think its wierd.' i then told her that it would be wierd for me to have her wait on me and my friends and that i didnt want her to have to do that. she replied by saying that it made her happy that i didnt want her waiting on us.

do you see this bar issue as a possible reason for her breaking up with me. maybe not because i wouldnt go in, but because of the fact that we didnt really have a social life together, never met each others friends? if she wanted me to come in, would she have directly told me to do so. i would always ask her to take a night off, and she said she couldnt because she needed the money. yet, 3 weeks after we broke up, she took off a whole weekend to go to a wedding in vegas

Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hi Jim,

Not meeting each others friends could have an impact as well as you not coming into her job. You looked at it as not having her wait on your friends, she may have looked at it like you were embarrassed to have your friends see your girlfriend as a waitress.

A wedding is very different than just taking a day off.