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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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For the 100th time me and my significant other have had a ...

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For the 100th time me and my significant other have had a blowout about our lack of intimacy. She feels that the problem is solely mine. I would agree about 40% but I have tried to ask her to be sexier and she won''t comply. Even now I don''t feel like being intimate due to the argument we just had.

Hello Jw,

You say you agree about 40%, so you believe that she is 60% responsible?

How often are you intimate?

Why do you think you're not intimate more often?

What do you mean by "sexier"?

How long have you been married? How old are the two of you?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
just recently she has been saying that she is horny all of the time but she doesn't do anything that leads me to believe that she wants to have sex. She is a very moody person and she is angry a lot. She often grabs my testicles but not in a way that turns me on and she often wants to play in my rectal area which is a definite turn off.


Thank you for that additional info.

Have you tried setting up 'dates' where you go out and have a nice time or do something together that you both enjoy, and then seeing if that changes how things go for the night? You didn't say how long the two of you have been together, but it seems like there are other issues going on besides the lack of intimacy. Her moodiness and anger, where is it coming from? Has she always been like this? Both of those things along with her grabbing your testicles, can mean that she is angry at you, or angry at men in general. It seems like you feel that she is overbearing. You have to decide if this is something you want to try and work out, or if it would make more sense for you to just walk away.

You're initial sentence starts, "for the 100th time". The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior, so basically, if this is the way she has always been, this is probably the way she will always be, unless given a good reason to change. Sometimes people change with a death, a birth or some other life changing experience. Perhaps if she knew that she could lose you, she would change how she feels/acts. The problem is, maybe she won't. So if you give her an ultimatum, you have to be prepared for the results to go either way.

I hope this helps. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


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