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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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My wife is experiencing what seems to be post partum ...

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My wife is experiencing what seems to be post partum depression with our second child. She has alot of stress at work and is experiencing no joy at home. she has turned to going out with work colleagues (something she never did before) instead of spending time with her husnad/ family. She has also started to smoke about 1/2 a pack of cigs a day and has recently started wellbutrin. The tear on me(husband) stems mostly from the complete intimate withdrawl from me. No conversation, noe kiss on the lips and if there is sex it is her laying there. I have fallen into a spiral of anxiety and depression and have been able to seek help at a much quicker and more efficient rate then her. She keeps reassuring me everything is fine between us, but The distance keeps growing. Her behavior, although not altogether insane, has been very unlike her. Where does this leave us?
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Hello B,

We can still talk here if you like. As I was saying, its possible now that she is simply depressed, and the cause is probably more than one thing, its a culmination of things. She could have a fear of getting pregnant again, and thats what turns her away from affection and sex. She turns from the affection because she thinks it will lead to sex. So you'll want to talk to her about some affection and be clear with her that you don't want to have sex, that you just want to have some affection time with her. Full body massages, hand massages, foot massages, laying across each others laps while watching a movie, holding hands, etc.

If you can understand that its natural for a woman to feel this way, and that multiple children can overwhelm most any parent. The most important thing is the communication, which could be facilitated through couples counseling, which is certainly something that should be suggested and considered.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more


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