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Theresa, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 877
Experience:  PhD. Clinical Psychology
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I am a married woman,but separated from my husband since ...

Resolved Question:

I am a married woman,but separated from my husband since last 8 years, becuuse I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend just cheated on me and went back to his wife suddenly. Is there anything legally I can do to get him back or to take any legal action to teach him a lesson?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Theresa replied 9 years ago.

Hi Mita:

I see that you are very hurt and angry with the recent actions of your boyfriend. I hope that I am able to help you understand that getting back or even with him or even to attempt to teach him a lesson will not heal your wounded heart.

What will happen is his wife and children (if he has any) are the ones that will be hurt. He will most likely get angry with you but he will not learn a lesson. Though it may be painful, I am sure that you are aware that if he was married when he came to know you, that he was not available for you, even if he lived with you physically. In honesty both of you were wrong for doing this if you were married to other people.

I am not trying to hurt your feelings at all. I don't know you nor am I placing judgement on you. I am merely informing you from a totally biased view of what your situation looks like. Did your husband try to get even with you or teach you a lesson when you left him? I hope that he did not do this for it only causes more pain.

There is really nothing that you could do to him legally. The courts would probably embaress you for they would ask you if he tied you up and kept you prisoner... They will also ask you things such as are you of sound legal mind to make decisions for your self... They would hammer you for the purpose of teaching you a lesson. They are only concerned with the law and upholding it, they are not concerned with the emotions that we as human beings experience.

I am going to suggest that you find someone that you can talk to you... Just a friend... Someone that cares about you jsut for being you... Let your feelings out with them... Real friends are there for us for this type of thing. Cry, scream and yelll within the privacy of your home for it is natural to feel these emotions but it is not healthy to hold them in. Hold your head high and don't let him know that you are hurt... Leave his mind to wonder.

When you have past this, I am also going to suggest that you enter into a legal divorce with your husband. If you have not been with him for 8 years there is no point in either of you being in a position that holds you back from loving freely. Should some one else come your way that you want to spend your life with you will be able to if you have gotten a divorce.

Please let me know if I can help you with this further.

I am here.


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Customer: replied 9 years ago.