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Theresa, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 877
Experience:  PhD. Clinical Psychology
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I need an answer please,I am so puzzled and confused.I ...

Customer Question

I need an answer please,I am so puzzled and confused.I just got married a month ago to my wife.However, when it came time to have wanting to have sexual intercourse,I couldn''t retain erection. I am wondering if maybe I needed to have spent more time hugging,kissing,touching each other.She says she was ready for me to enter into her vagina,but I didn''t ever.We both remained abstinent until marriage,because we are christians.I went to see an urologist and he examined me and said that I have on testicle smaller than the other.And maybe said that I have bad blood flow to one of the testicles,and when it came time to wanting to enter into her vagina,my penis would go from erect to small.Also I don''t know if maybe her hymen was a bit small,tight? she got an examination with her ginecologist and the dr,said no! that she was alright and would not need to have her hymen opened a bit.we never consimated our marriage.i want to correct this,she wants to become pregnant and we be parents.HELP ME!!
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Theresa replied 9 years ago.

Hello Jerry and Nelly 4ever:

I am going to help you by suggesting that you first enter into therapy with a therapist that specializes in sexual dysfunction. I believe that this is an alternative that will help you identify the psychological reasons that you are unable to maintain and erection.

Upon learning this, your therapist will bring Nelly into the sessions also. The therapist will discuss techniques that will help both of you to relax and enjoy the full pleasure of sexual intimacy with one another.

I want to let you know that you are not alone, so please don't panic. I am a psychologist and see couples for this same thing frequently. One thing we have noted in our studies is that this is often common to persons that practice a religious belief faithfully. They have mentally prepared and prevented themselves from engaging in "fornication" that when they are married performance can be impaired do to emotional stress that has gained momentum while they have respected abstinence.

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Customer: replied 9 years ago.
I received your answer,and I agree with what you explained in general about us and the situation.Thanks soo much!! and yes I would like to receive some psychological help to correct this matter.
Only one thing.I got married in Paraguay, S.A.
and I just got back from there.In other words she's over there I'm over here in USA.How can we get help now,being that we are separated.
Also, I'm going through paper work for her visa.
That's why I came back to USA.She couldn't come with me.However,I pray to God that I can have a visa for her within the next 5-7 months.I'll go back to Paraguay after the 7 months if her visa,she has not received.But I hope that by then I will have gone into some psychological help,to correct my situation,here in the USA.
But what about her?can she get some help being that she is faraway?Receive some via e-mail?can someone send her info in spanish? I wish we were together in this,unfortunately we're not.
Again can you help me/us.Do whatever it takes so we can both get some help.We are already sad as can be because we had to go our seperate ways for a few months.We love each other to death.We praise God for our marriage.We are the happiest couple in the world.And I adore my wife and she adores me.Again, do we have to be together to get help for this matter?Tell me,please.I want to know ASAP!!!
Pray for us.And again let me know what you can do.I'll really appreciate and so will she.She's worried about me,and again we want to be parents hopefully by next year.
Thanks once again.And I wait for your reply.
God bless you,
Expert:  Theresa replied 9 years ago.

Hola Jerry:

You are not forgotten! Prior to answering your question I want to examine what might be available for your wife as you wait for her!

Si Amigo, Que' le vaya bien!

Hasta Luego,