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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I am 22 weeks pregnant but the father isnt my ...

Customer Reply

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
I am 22 weeks pregnant but the father isn't my boyfriend and I have been with him for almost 5 years. I know that you are a doctor but I figured you got some of these kind of questions. I haven't told anyone about my boyfriend not being the father and I don't ever want to tell him because it will break his heart. I know I messed up but I have learned my lesson. I am stuck in a position were I am adopted and don't think I can go through with giving the baby up for adoption so I just was going to tell my boyfriend it was his because he will be such a great father. Do you have any advice you could give me. Is there anyway he could tell it wasn't his we look alike so I don't see how he could and the fact that I am adopted I don't really know my backround?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Mommy2be,

This question was moved from health, so I am not a doctor, but I can tell you that if the child looks like you or you and your boyfriend, there would be no way to tell aside from a blood test.

Do you think that your bf suspected that you cheated?

How can you be sure that it's not his?


Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
We go to different schools and I slept with him the weekend of Sept.1-3 when I visited him then we "broke up" and I slept with the other guy the next weekend and my period and ovulation dates didn't really match up but it was so close he thinks it is his. He has asked are you sure it is mine but I just said yes because the dates are so close. I really don't know what to do?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.


It's not an easy situation. You can look back and say maybe I should have used protection, maybe I shouldn't have done it, but what's done is done. The fact is, you can't be 100% positive that it's not his until the child is born, or unless you hadn't slept with him because pregnancy dates can be off by a week or more.

When the child is born, you are going to want to get a dna test done, if for no other reason than to be sure in your own heart. Now whether or not you sneak and get the dna from both guys, and send it into an online dna testing lab, or you come out and tell your bf that you are not sure is up to you. I know you think that it might cause the two of you to break up, but you have to balance that with possibly living with a lie.

Overall, it's a decision you have to give a lot of thought to. The child deserves to know who his real father is, regardless of how good a father you think he will be. The father also deserves to know if it is his son, or if it's not his son. I know you are very afraid right now, and when we are afraid, it's very hard to think straight. No one can tell you what to do, you have to do what you think is best for your child.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more