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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I am a 45 yr old professional man, married to the same ...

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I am a 45 yr old professional man, married to the same lady for 22 years. We are very happy and still have more of a spark today as it relates to sex as we did when we first started dating.
Early in our relationship we both really got into and developed a lingerie fetish. I would shower her with "non-slutty" lingerie; night gowns, bras, panties, slips, hosiery; we don''t like thongs or anything cotton. Well, Kim noticed how turned on I became so she bought me a few pair of panties and had me start wearing panties that matched hers while we were together and when we were apart, living in different cities; We became sensually connected. This progressed to her buying matching night gowns, nighties, camisoles, slips and hosiery, thigh-his and pantyhose. I became a cross-dresser and we both loved it. Knowing how much it meant to me to wear these things, she now refuses to let me wear lingerie. This has left a void in my life that I want back. Any ideas? I want to share this with her.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Jimmy,

What caused her to make this decision if you both loved it?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: The kids I would assume. We have never had a disagreement or fight one over me wearing intimate appearl ever. We don't fight and we get along great. When we are intimate, she sometimes talks about dressing me up in pretty bra and panties and making me her "girlfriend, but never goes through with letting me "dress-up" like we use to. You would be amazed at all the matching robes, gowns and panties we had and wore on a daily basis. I didn't wear any mens PJ's or underwear for over 10 years prior to the birth of our first child. I wear panties and she knows but has mentioned that I should buy some mens briefs but I ignore this. This past holiday season I was asked by a sales assistant in the lingerie dept at Dillards, whom I have seen many times before, who I was buying the panties and slip for, and I said me. This didn't surprise her and she said that she knew I was buying for myself due to the sizes. She had seen me buy things with my wife before and knew her to be smaller. So, she asked if my wife knew and I told her what I have told you and she was sad for me that I had to do this alone and not with my wife. She is the first to know and I am glad I said something. I love my wife and would never cheat on her, period.
Hope this helps.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Jimmy,

Thank you for that additional info. When did she say stop? How old are the children? You say that you "assume" does this mean that you've never asked why? Was there ever a discussion or how did she let you know she wanted you to stop?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: She said that I shouldn't wear ladies nightgowns/nighties anymore right after we brought our first child home from the hospital 10 yrs ago. We now have 2 kids, boy 10 and girl 7. I understand the importance of not letting the kids see me wearing intimate appearl, but they wouldn't see me considering when I will be wearing it. I do not wish to wear night gowns everynight, but occassionally would be nice and I would change before anyone woke up.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.


It's imperative that you let her know that this was never a game for you, but something that was a part of your life. That even after all of this time, it's still something that is very much a part of you. A part that you don't want to let go. I can, in a sense, see where she is coming from. Children are so unpredictable that you never know when they are going to pop up, and they always tend to do so at the most inopportune moment.

The only time she might feel completely safe about it would be if the children were not in the house at all. It might be time to consider a babysitter, either outside the home, or you have one in the home while your wife and you go to a hotel. Going to a hotel could add a new element of excitement and sensuality to your relationship. You could meet separately, or even at a bar, pretending as if you just met. If you can get an outside babysitter, you could play and dress knowing that the children wouldn't walk in and it could make her a lot more comfortable and accepting of it. This is something you can plan on doing once or twice a month. Even if it's once a month, you can do different things each time and the excitement might be enough to hold you over until the next 'date'. I welcome your thoughts, let me know what you think.


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