My father used to tell me that "the helping hand you seek is at the end of your own arm", kind of his version of "God helps those who help themselves". Faith is belief without proof. There is no way for God to "show" you that he loves you, perhaps the fact that we're alive? Sometimes that doesn't seem very loving, when everything in life is turned against us, but that is life. Good, bad or indifferent, its your life. Don't disassociate from the things that you can (attempt to) control (procrastination, lies, self centered, hatefulness), and blame them on a lack of love from God. These are things you can deal with, whether through therapy/counseling or sheer determination.
Prayers are for strength, the things we ask of our God/s, to "accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference" is enough sometimes if we're persistent and honest about it. You can't presume to know what your God is thinking or doing, it could quite possibly be the height of egotism to assume that you can.
I don't have much faith in curses, I apologize if you do, but we can't make excuses for bad luck. What we look upon as bad luck can be the very learning experiences that can turn that "luck" around. There's no shadiness in asking a question or wanting an answer. No man/woman is an island, and there are some times when you have to reach that hand out....to send that message in a bottle and hope someone responds.
When you're feeling this way, sometimes the best cure, the best way to call of the 'curse' is to do for others. Feed the homeless. Do something for a child. Visit a hospital ward. Volunteer. No cure for self pity better than seeing those worse off than you, and having a chance to make their life a little better.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.