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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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How do I get to know a man Im infatuated with without

Customer Question

I don''t really know him and we have no mutual friends. We sometimes end up at the same places, but not with the same group. I feel strongly that women shouldn''t pursue men...Plus, he has a lot of women that like him already. How can a be subtle, but get his attention...and hopefully develop enough of a rapport for him to ask me out?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Kathleen,

Have you ever spoken to him?

Have you ever seen him looking at you?

How old are the two of you?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: No, I've never spoken to him.
We've had brief eye contact...but I honestly couldn't read if it was the kind of eye contact that counts.
I'm embarrassed to admit it, but we're both in our forties. I realize this sounds like high school.
I am in his league 'looks' wise, but this is a man that's gotten a lot of female attention lately (for reasons I can't go into). He is a nice guy, but has a bit of an inflated ego...not too bad, but there nevertheless. I can't come off as just another one of these women noticing what a cutie-pie he is. I have to stand apart, and this is what makes it so hard.
I have no problem paying for a fresh answer to this, as I'm REALLY stumped. Please just keep in mind that I feel very strongly that I can't be the one seeming to pursue, as I believe that is contradictory to a man's 'hunting' instinct...and I instinctively feel this is especially true for someone like him.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.


What makes a man's "hunting" instinct kick in is to see something that other people want, and to see something that he cannot have. You have to make yourself seem attractive or irresistible to other men in the room. Talk, laugh, flirt, look people in the eye, and most of all tell yourself that you are the most attractive thing in the room, and believe it. When you walk to the ladies room or another area, walk with your head held high, as if you don't need anyone in this room, as if you're thinking of something so important. When you see him, look him dead in the eye, hold it for the count of five and look away and start talking to someone else. If he's there, use any excuse to be able to walk as close past him as you can. When you walk past, don't look at him, the next time, do look at him, mix it up so he never knows what to expect from you.

Men are attracted to women who are sure of themselves, that know how to have a good time, that smiles and laughs. You can't force something if it's not there, but if there is the slightest bit there, you can bring it out by allowing your personality to flower, looking him in the eye (which is kind of a challenge), and pretending that he doesn't exist.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more


Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Good insights. Wish me luck! Thanks...
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Kathleen

I do wish you luck. :) Feel free to come back and let me know how it goes.