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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Is having a friend 8yrs younger than me an issue I am 25

Customer Question

I met a friend at work he is 8yrs younger than me in 8 months time we have become best friends. He is still in school it kinda gets awkward around his other friends but we always seem to have a blast. I also share a good relationship with his parents they are good people. I also work for his dad part time. Some of my friends my age think I am weird for hanging out with a highschool kid. I know in a few years it probally wont be big deal. I would like to hear a outside opnion.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Piano,

Many people might say why would you become "best friends" with someone so much younger than you, and why wouldn't your "best friend" be someone closer to your own age. Aside from genuinely liking each other as people, some might wonder about your intentions, they might think that your interest in the boy is more than friends, that maybe you can't make friends your age or that you simply want someone to control or impress.

Your question was, is it an issue. It's only an issue if any of the above are true. If his parents don't mind you being around him, and you have a good relationship with them, then that's all that really matters. If you look inside yourself and know that none of the reasons above are true about you, and you genuinely feel like a big brother toward him, then I really wouldn't worry about it.

Do keep in mind however that as an adult, you can do a lot more than he can. You are also someone he probably looks up to, so be sure that you are not affecting him negatively, or doing things you know his parents would disapprove of. In fact, whatever his parents say, you have an obligation to back them up, even if you don't necessarily agree with them. His parents are entrusting that you are not going to lead their son off of whatever path they have set for him. Your friends are going to think that, for some of the reasons I mentioned above. Perhaps you should let them know its a "big brother" type of deal and they may leave it alone.

Its a very special thing to have someone of that age accept you and be their friend, so treat it that way, and be a good role model for him. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


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Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: Wow! thanks for the response I have read in other forums that it is ok to have friends of different ages but it is nice to hear it directly. I can assure you this friendship is not sexual in nature more like a "big brother". My friends my age give me a hard time with it but I don't care. Most of the time I try to be a good role model. Sometimes I don't say anything to preserve the friendship and let some of his issues take their course.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Pianoman,

You're very welcome. Like I said, as long as you know his parents take a front seat in his life, and you are the older friend that supports their decisions. There will be issues because of the age difference, and letting it go sometimes is good, unless you are giving him a different view. Again be careful that you're not giving him views that are in direct opposition to his upbringing.

Good luck with everything. Feel free to request me by name anytime you want to talk.