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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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how can i ensure my boyfriend and i are ready for parenthood

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Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. The other Experts and I are working on your answer. By the way, it would help us to know:

-What are your ages?

-How long have you been dating?

-Are you pregnant now?

-If so, how far along are you?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: Hello, we are 35 and 37 and have been dating for 6 months. We are in love and know each other are "the one", want a family and to get married but I just found out I am pregnant (7 weeks) and I am nervous about this all happening so quickly and how we can work on our relationship building, growing, with a baby in the picture!
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

First let me say Congratulation to you both, a baby is a precious gift and seeing you have possibly 33 more weeks to get ready for the baby you both can help each other through getting ready for the baby's arrival by reading books and doing research on parenting or even going to parenting classes together. It will be a learning process for you both but if you work together and share in the happiness of bringing a new life into the world I'm sure you will do just fine as parents. Just with your ages alone gives you a better chance of being good parents. When the baby comes it will be a learning process for all three of you to learn together you can never learn too much when it comes to parenting. It's hard to describe but once you see what you and your boyfriend have created all your worry will turn to pure joy. You will realize that you have so much more love than you ever could have imagined you would have for one person (the baby).

If you know that each other is the one and love each other so much then you have half the battle won because raising a child takes respect and love for each other and respect that this will be a learning experience for you both and you will make a few mistakes along the way but that is all a part of the learning process learn from you mistake and learn not to make those same mistakes again if you do realize that we are human and we will make mistakes. Life as a whole is about trial and error that is how we learn through our mistakes and realize that there is no perfect parent and everyone raises their children differently. You must communicate with your boyfriend and share your fears with him so that if he is scared also he will know that he is not alone and then you both will have a common bond that will make things so much easier.

If you do this together you will realize that it is so much easier than if you were to do it alone, just cherish that you have him there and don't take each other for granted. Good Luck to you both and if you have anything to add click reply.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: i worry that i will not be a great wife because i will be focused on being a great mom. Should we go to couples counseling too?
And even though we are older, we both come from strict Irish Catholic families, so any advice on how to tell them if we should get engaged first, married? would be great!
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

If you were planning on getting married then couples counseling would be a good idea it will help you both understand what the other needs out of the relationship and also how you can go about telling your strict families about not only the baby but the marriage. They will start to see your body change because of carrying the baby so the sooner you tell them the better. Do it together so that they see that you are a united front and plan on going through this together. They may expect you both to now get married but make that your decision. If you were planning on getting engaged try getting engaged with the family there this way you will include them in your joy and then possibly tell the families after you have made that decision to commit to each other that you have double blessing because you both are expecting a baby. When you get married and have the baby you just have to make sure that you take time for some one on one with your husband so that you can reconnect to each other and don't just consume your life with just being parents but being lovers and friends also if you make sure you take time for each other then the parenting part will fall into place with each others support.

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