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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I have been living with a man for 9 years. i have invested ...

Customer Question

I have been living with a man for 9 years. i have invested almost $4,000 to put new siding and a new roof on his tin can trailer. my boys actually did the roof and i paid them what i could. Steve promised me he would put me on the deed if i did this. After it was pretty much completed, i asked him about it and he said, ''what deed''. he then said he meant that he would put me in his will. that hasn[t happened either. i threatened to leave him and all of a sudden he says that he is planning to marry me. i think this is just another ruse to shut me up. i am in credit card debt and he ''loaned'' me $2,000 to pay off three credit cards. he expects me to pay him a 100 a month even though he still owes me money. i had told him in the very beginning before all this started that i would do the siding and roof, but i needed some financial protection / security if anything happened to him. That is when he told me he would put me on the deed. i have my receipts and pictures also.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Lizzy are you looking for relationship advice or legal advice?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
i guess i am looking for both. I am very confused about the relationship and the financial issue. i feel i am being taken advantage of. i can't even get a cat because he doesn't like them. by the way i pay $500.00 a month to live here, no free ride.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Well lets start out with the relationship aspect of it. If he owes you money for the roof, then it looks like you might want to deduct that from the money he owes you for the credit card. Of course that could cause a big blow up, but you have to ask yourself are you crazy or hard of hearing? You know the difference between a deed and a will, and so does he. For him to go back on what he's said, twice is not a good sign, and definitely points to avoidance issues. I think if you let him know that you're deducting the roof costs from the credit card debt, you may get a good idea of where his head is at. Additionally, if you want to marry him, then he needs to give you a date and be serious about whats going on between the two of you. If you feel in your heart that he's just killing time and is really not trying to commit to you, then maybe it is time to think about moving on. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more?


Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
you pretty much validated what i have been expecting for quite some time. your answer has been very helpful to me. Time for me to move on. it won't happen for a few motnhs, but it will happen. i am seeing a counselor and psychiatrist for depression. Thank you so much.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Lizzy it is my pleasure to help in any way I can. Please feel free to come and speak to me anytime. You can ask for me by name.

Good luck with everything.