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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I am a child of Incestus parents. My uncle who died in ...

Customer Question

I am a child of Incestus parents. My uncle who died in 2002 and his sister who is my mother. I believe my uncle is my biologocal father. I have pictures of him and we look a lot alike. There is no way DNA can be used. How do I verify that he is my father my the use of pictures? I have been severly abused by my mothers husban and developed MPD very early on in life. Although I''m 61 years old it would be comforting to know if my uncle is truly my father. My mother has told no one who my father is, although when she did a small family history I was put in the linage of her family. I never was adopted. My step father who was very abusive told me that he was not my father. Which leads me to belive that my uncle is my father. I have compared photos of myself and my uncle which leads me to belive he is my father. My siblings think I crazy. How can I resolve this issue. Respectfully, XXXXX XXXXX     If you can help I truly be greatfull. I am on Social Security money is tight.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Michael,

Let me ask you a couple of questions.

Have you ever just tried asking your mother directly? Or saying something similar to "why do I look so much like my uncle?"?

Also, some would say it stands to reason that you would look like your uncle, after all you are his sisters son, there's bound to be a resemblance, especially with you both being male.

You sound like you're not sure if your stepfather is your father or not, you're just going by the fact that he said he's not your father. Why don't you start there? Get his dna and see if he is your father. If it comes back that he is your father, then you can stop everything knowing the truth, however if you find out for sure that he is not your real father, you can just dismiss him and all of his abuse, and you can tell your mother that you know 100 percent that your step dad is not your father, and you want to know who your father is. You have a right to know who your father is. Period.

As far as being able to tell if that is your real father through pictures alone would be impossible. Forensic science has facial recognition programs, but they couldn't guarantee them because think about how many children don't look like either of their parents? The only way to be absolutely sure is DNA.

I welcome your thoughts


Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Dear Chase:
Thank you for your kind responce. I did have a DNA done on my step father and he is not my biological father. I confronted my mother about the DNA test all I got from her was a face of abslute shock. "He found out now what do I do?"
I approched her at a later time all I got was "I can't play faverits!" (sp) I have four half siblings. She tried very hard to distance her self from me. The secret never did get out even my step father didn't know who my real father was. My mother has Altzheimers and is consience of nothing now. I am not bothered by the abuse it is in the past and I try to live for the future. I was in hopes that there might be some way to prove by pictures. When I was a young man they did use pictures for such idenfications.
Thanks again. If you have any further response I would like to hear from you. Mike Starks
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Michael,

I'm not sure of your age, but I assure you that if they did use pictures alone for identification of parentage it was not an accurate science. However, I did think of something that might be able to help in a way. I spoke to Nick at Family Tree DNA, my thinking was that if they could have your DNA and your mothers DNA, then they may be able to pinpoint whether your biological fathers DNA was related to your mothers. I think I was a little out in left field with my thinking, but Nick said that if your uncle had any male children, they could compare that male child's y chromosome with yours and let you know if you have the same father. If he didn't have any sons, he said there are other ways it can be done. You can call and talk to them, they are very courteous and friendly. Their info is as follows

Family Tree DNA - Genealogy by Genetics, Ltd.
World Headquarters

1445 North Loop West, Suite 820 Houston, Texas 77008, USA
Phone:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
dear chase
thank you very much. by the way I'm 61
mike starks
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

You're very welcome Mike. I didn't want to guess (I'm 40), lol.

Feel free to request me by name anytime you have a question, I'd love to know how this eventually turns out if you choose to let me know.

Good luck with everything.