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She would not be required to sign the note itself which is the document that would cause her to have liability for the loan. It is possible that the lender may require her to sign the deed of trust which grants the lender the lien on the property to secure the loan, but that would not make her liable on the loan itself. It simply assures the lender that your wife won't make any claim to the property should the lender need to foreclose. Kentucky is not a community property state. If spouses do not reside in a community property state, and only one spouse signed the loan contract (such as the promissory note), then the signatory-spouse is the only party liable for the debt. The other spouse, being the non-signatory spouse of the note itself, does not share in such liabilities of the signing spouse.
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Banks always take the very draconian conservative route. But, the fact is that they would not be able to pursue her for a liability for which she did not sign. But, she also doesn't want to walk herself into a lawsuit either that even though she would prevail, she would have the expense of fighting. So, you have to deal with the realities of what the lender's position is. In your case, I would insist that the bank sign an agreement providing that upon finalization of your divorce, they agree to affirmatively release her from any obligation for the mortgage.