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Cher, Feline Specialist
Category: Cat
Satisfied Customers: 21422
Experience:  Feline Healthcare & Behavior Specialist 40+ years Experience
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I have a female 3 year old cat which I have had for 1.5

Customer Question

Hello, I have a female 3 year old cat which I have had for 1.5 years. I also have a male cat 1 year old which I have had for 8 months. Both are lovely on their own however the male is dominating the female and is biting her. No blood drawn but, they have been together for 8 months and the males is still constantly attacking the female. The only time they are good together is when the male is tired and the female then licks him. Any advise is appreciated. Thank you, Gayle
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Cat
Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

Hello and welcome!

My name is ***** ***** it will be my pleasure to help you today.

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

I'm reviewing your question now, will send your detailed answer as soon as possible.

I see that you had posted a while ago, but different experts are online at various times and I recently signed in and was notified of your question. Your patience is greatly appreciated.

Warm regards,


Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

Hi again, Gayle and thanks so much for waiting!

The behavior you described from your 1 year old male, is not uncommon. He's trying to assert his dominance over your female, even though she's older and might be bigger. For him, this may also be a form of play. He's bored, wants her attention, so he bothers/attacks her. It's possible that he was taken away from his mom-cat and siblings when he was too young and was never taught by mom, how to be sociable with other cats. He will most likely outgrow this behavior, but for the time-being, there are several things you can do to deter him.

First, I would get some Feliway plug in diffusers; these emit cat calming pheromones that cut down on stress/anxiety. You can find them in major pet stores, vet offices, and/or online. Here is more information:

If you should see him getting ready to attack her, stand out of site and shake a can of coins or pebbles to stop him in his tracks. You want to stand out of sight, so he associates the sound with his actions, not with you. Keep a few cans around the house, so they are conveniently located, for any room you're in.

You can also make sure that he's not bored (well, that both of them are not bored), but having a tall kitty condo or cat tree for them to play on (and even sleep) and a bunch of exciting toys they can play with. The list below contains many toys, manufacturers and even a cat dvd they will enjoy. I think the foraging toy will be great for him to play 'stalk/hunt prey,' instead of stalking your female. I love the toys made by 'Fat Cat,' so check them out at your pet supply stores or even Walmart.


There are other over the counter calming treatments, to settle him down, if he's too wild, going after her:



Note: don't use the oral products at the same time; just use one, in conjunction with the Feliway.

I don't like to recommend prescription medication, only as a last resort, so give these ideas above, a chance to work and if you see no improvement in a couple of weeks, discuss with your vet, if a prescription medication would be good for your male. There are many to choose from. Clomicalm is well-recommended:


I hope things will improve for both your kitties!

Please be so kind as to rate my answer with positive feedback, as that is the only way I receive recognition from the website for my assistance. Thank you very much!

Providing a positive rating will not end our conversation, should you need me for any follow-up. Simply click 'Reply to Expert' for clarification or additional information, if needed.

Warmest wishes,


Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you Cher very much. Your response is very helpful. I like the 'rattle the change'. I actually have Rescue in the spray form. Can this be sprayed in their water? Just to let you know, 4 of the links re: toys are not working.

Thanks again, Gayle

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

You're most welcome, Gayle. It's my pleasure to be of help to you and your kitties! I'm glad you liked the 'rattle the change' technique!

The Rescue Remedy for Pets (make sure it's for pets and not humans, as the human form contains alcohol) spray, can be sprayed directly on their tongue (2 sprays). If this is too difficult, I see no reason not to spray it in their water, as you would be putting the drops in their water in any case. The drops can also be put directly on the tongue, but I don't know if they would stay still with their mouth open for that, so do whatever is easiest for you.

Thanks for letting me know 4 of the links re: the toys aren't working. I'll check them out and send you new links.

Please allow me a few minutes.



Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

Hi again,

Here is another link for the first one--re: foraging toys:


The Batarat link works and you can look in your pet supply stores for any foraging toys.


Here is an assortment of Fat Cat toys---make sure it says 'for cats', because dog toys are intermingled. There's one I love, called a 'Kickaroo', so you can look for it in your pet store.



This last one seems to work:


The other toy advertised on that website also looks like fun.

Sorry about the non-working links. I made this list a while ago and I guess some companies changed their sites. I appreciate you letting me know, because no other client ever mentioned anything!

You can make your own foraging toys, also. Here are some examples:


Just make sure there is nothing that can injure your cats while they play with these types of toys. If you cut any holes in something, make sure the edges are smooth and of course, make sure there are not small pieces that can be chewed off, like string, ribbon, feathers, etc. Keep in mind that foraging toys are also 'self-feeders,' so don't let your cats play with them all day and/or don't fill with too much dry food or treats. Add the amount they get from the toys to their normal daily amount of food, so they don't become overweight.

I hope that helped you further.

Warmest wishes,