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My name is***** and thank you for the detailed description of your kitty's problems. I will try to answer your questions in order.
1) Socialization- this is a slow and gentle process for feral cats. You are doing the right thing by allowing him to take his time getting used to your household. I would encourage him with gentle touching and soft voices. The kids need to be slow and quiet around him. They can also offer his food to him where he can see them do it. It may take 6 or more months for him to fully warm up to the family.
2) The wound you are describing is similar to the fly larvae called Cuterebra. Can you send a picture of the wound up close?
How is your kitten this evening? How is the wound? Has it changed at all? Do you have any more questions for me?