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Terri, Feline Healthcare Expert
Category: Cat
Satisfied Customers: 32666
Experience:  Expert in feline health and behavior. 20 years experience with cats.
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Recently moved in with my boyfriend/ now husband, brought my

Customer Question

Recently moved in with my boyfriend/ now husband, brought my cat with me. He's always been scared of men since he came to me as a stray at about 3 years of age. He's now approx 11. Not long after moving in my husband accidentally cornered my cat while he was downstairs - he eventually escaped but peed & pooped on the stairs he was so frightened. Now he stays upstairs all the time in his safe room where his bed is & if my husband & him meet he hisses at him & runs away & hides under the bed. What can I do? I feel terrible for my cat & think he's getting depressed
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Cat
Expert:  Terri replied 1 year ago.

Hi Jen,

I am sorry Charlie boy is so upset. You can change Charlies opinion of your husband simply by letting him (husband) feed him.

To a is love and they CAN be bribed. Since he is scared of your husband YOU o with him to feed first.

Have him sit down next to you and hold out food CHARLIE LOVES and will work for. I usually use tuna.

Have him look at Charlie and do a slow blink. That says I like you and mean you no harm.

See video:

Even if Charlie will not come to him, make sure he sees that your husband put the food down. do this for 3 days. THEN ONLY your husband is to feed Charlie with YOU not in the room.He should not try to pet or grab Charlie until the cat comes to him on his own.

After about a week Charlie will come to depend on your husband for his meals.He should then warm up to him.

Please let me know how things are going.

Please be so kind as to rate my answer with positive feedback; that is the only way I receive credit for my assistance. Thank you very much!

Providing a positive rating will not end our conversation, should you need me for any follow-up. Simply click 'Reply' for clarification or additional information, if needed, at no additional charge.

Kind regards,


Expert:  Terri replied 1 year ago.
Hi Jen,
I'm just following up on our conversation about Charlie Boy. How is everything going?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Unfortunately I think I need a bit of a different approach than the one you suggested, as my husband already feeds Charlie Boy.
It's the only time he lets him in the room without hissing & then hiding under the bed.
He stays in his bed until Hubble has left the room & then comes out to eat. His food is near his bed.
Expert:  Terri replied 1 year ago.

So Charlie understands that your husband brings him food?

Did your husband try sitting down on the floor next to the bed and talking to Charlie?

What foods does he love that he could not refuse?

Tell your husband to sit down on the floor next to the bed.That way Charlie will not feel overwhelmed by someone standing over him.

Put a shirt with hubbys scent under Charlies food dish so he associates the scent with positive things.

Get a small paint roller, the kind use for trim.Roll it over Charlies paws and then on hubbys hands so Charlie smells himself on hubby.

Let me know if any of those suggestions help.