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Cher, Feline Specialist
Category: Cat
Satisfied Customers: 21334
Experience:  Feline Healthcare & Behavior Specialist 40+ years Experience
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My loving 3 year female cat who used to sleep on the bed cuddled

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My loving 3 year female cat who used to sleep on the bed cuddled up to her brother cat, come when she was called, enjoy cuddles has turned into a totally different cat. Never stays in the house at night, just comes in and gets food when she wants then disappears.
Help me I want my little girl back.

Hello, Gale and welcome!

My name is XXXXX XXXXX it will be my pleasure to assist you and Mika today.

First, I have just a few questions for you to get a little more information:

Is Mika spayed?

Does she get along well with her brother cat? Have they fought lately, that you know of?

Is she eating, drinking and eliminating as usual?

Have there been any changes in or around the house recently, like new furniture, appliances, renovation, new carpet, painting, visitors (human and pet), changes in your schedule and the hours you're home, etc.?

Is she showing any signs of illness when she's in the house?

Thanks for all your additional detail. After you reply, please allow me a short while to compose, type and send your answer.

Best regards,

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Cher


Thanks for getting back to me.

Yes Mika is spayed.

I have not seen them fighting, however whenever she is around Polo (brother tries to hump her). They use to spend hours playing chasing one another.

Yes she is eating well, I have not seen her drinking lately.

My parents had been living with us for 4 months and were home all day but have been gone now for about 6 weeks, they still visit now and again.

I have not seen any sign of illness.

Regards Gale


Hi again, Gale and you're most welcome.

Thanks for all your helpful details.

If your parents were living with you for 4 months and left about 6 weeks ago, Mika may be showing some anxiety at their leaving because they had been around all day and she had human company, in addition to her brother. This may be one reason why she decided to spend more time outside and wants more interaction with other felines and/or just wants 'adventure.' She could have befriended one or more other cats she likes spending time with or she might be hanging around someone else's house, where they are home all day and give her attention. I'm not saying she's not getting attention at home, because I know she certainly is; however, because your parents are no longer there full time, this even (when they left) could have sparked her new behavior.

I'm glad you've seen no signs of illness, but it might be a good idea to have her evaluated in person by her vet, just to make sure. This is always advisable when a new or different behavior is observed.

Mika might benefit from an enrichment of her environment by adding some new toys, and playing with interactive toys with her, as well. When you get the new toys, divide them into several groups. Change out the groups every few days, and she will feel like she is getting 'new' toys, which will intrigue her!

You should have, or can get, a tall kitty condo or cat tree with different levels, shelves, and 'hidey holes' for playing, sleeping and scratching (these are covered with carpet). She will also enjoy a foraging toy, which fulfills her natural instincts of stalking and hunting prey.

Interactive toys you can play with her are laser pointers and feather dancers or fishing pole toys. There are even 'automatic' laser toys which you can set on a timer. Another thing she will like is a dvd with 'critters' of different types playing and doing other activities. I will list information for these types of toys in the links below:

Foraging toys

These are some examples of what's available; you can find many of these types of toys, etc. at your pet supplies store or order online--whichever is easiest for you.

One note: re: the feather dancer/fishing pole toy--don't leave this alone with her, as pieces can be chewed off; always play WITH her, under your supervision, then store the toy where she can't get at it.

You can also try some calming products which may help her feel more relaxed and less stressed and want to stay home more:

I would suggest using a cat appeasing pheromone called Feliway which helps to calm stressed cats. The plug-in diffuser might be best for your needs. Here is more information: Feliway

There are two other calming remedies which are given orally and are available over the counter:
Rescue Remedy for Pets and Composure treats

Don't use both these remedies simultaneously--choose one or the other, and each can be used in conjunction with Feliway.

If you can't find these products under the same names where you live, ask for similar products in your local pet supply store.

Of course, if Mika is spending so much time outside, I'm sure she's up to date on all her shots and is treated with a monthly flea/tick control medication sold by your vet. This is essential for all cats who spend time outside.

I hope things will improve for Mika, soon!

I hope my suggestions have been helpful, and you will Rate my answer positively, so I may be credited. Thank you!

If you have any additional concerns or need clarification, please click Reply before rating. Thanks!

Warmest regards,

Cher and 2 other Cat Specialists are ready to help you
Hi Gale Ward,

I'm just following up on our conversation about Mika. How is everything going?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Mika seems to be changing alittle bit. She has come inside a couple of nights in the middle of the night and slept on our bed. I am just trying to play with her every time I see her.



Hi again, Gale and thanks for your positive update about Mika.

It's great that she's coming inside some nights and sleeping on your bed. Continue doing what you're doing with her, re: the playing and give lots of attention and hopefully, she will start coming in to sleep with you on more nights and slowly return to her old behavior.

Best regards,
Cher and 2 other Cat Specialists are ready to help you

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