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This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher…

This questions is about child...
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher is preparing our child for a dance competition. She keeps telling the child not to be nervous , not to be afraid. It seems to produce an opposite effect. What should we tell to the teacher?
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Answered in 4 hours by:
1/16/2018
Dr. Gupta
Dr. Gupta, Doctor (MD)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 8,295
Experience: Experienced, Board Certified practicing Pediatrician experienced in common parenting issues.
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Hi,

Welcome to just answer

I am a board certified Pediatrician and am practising since the last 18 years.

Could you give me some more information regarding your question -

- how old is your daughter and is she performing solo or in a group?

- has she performed on stage before?

- have you talked to your daughter - is she stressed by the teacher more or by the prospect of performance?

- any other parents of children participating, feeling the same?

- how is your daughter stressed - does not want to go for practice, change in her temperament etc?

Regards

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Dear Dr. Gupta
Below are answers to your questions:
- how old is your daughter and is she performing solo or in a group? she is 6.5 years old, she is performing solo and in the group.- has she performed on stage before?
she did not perform solo dance on stage before. She performed in choir with large group of kids
- have you talked to your daughter - is she stressed by the teacher more or by the prospect of performance?
I did not talk to her about her stress because I do not want to emphasis it.
- any other parents of children participating, feeling the same?
She is the only that is performing solo, so I do not know if other kids are feeling stressed.
- how is your daughter stressed - does not want to go for practice, change in her temperament etc?
She wants to go to practice, but she said she is nervous about performance. She said this after the teacher told her several times not to be nervous.

Thanks for the information.

From what I can gather, it seems that your daughter might be apprehensive about her solo performance which her teacher might not be able to relieve.

This is a natural feeling, in some children. There are kids who happily perform without any nervousness, while other have some stage freight. It is an individual reaction.

You are right, the fact that she is being told 'not to get nervous' is creating a feeling that 'there is something to be nervous about'

Here is what you can try - talk to her in a very informal setting - when you both are doing something together, or she is watching TV. Talk to her alone. She might be apprehensive about your reaction to her performance. Kids at this age are more receptive to what parents say. Try to find what specifically is bothering her and try to answer her queries in a non-emotional way and ensure her that this performance is fun time and that you enjoy watching her practice as much as you will see her perform

If after talking to her she is relived then fine, if not then talk to her teacher not to talk too much about her nervousness and to try to make her practice at the normal pace and praise her efforts.

Hope This helps your situation and she has a great time performing

Regards

Dr. Gupta
Dr. Gupta, Doctor (MD)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 8,295
Experience: Experienced, Board Certified practicing Pediatrician experienced in common parenting issues.
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