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How can a 23 year old female work through / get over built…

How can a 23 year...
How can a 23 year old female work through / get over built up anger / resentment / feelings of loss over having grown up in a divorced home with need for both parents, not just one? This high-functioning female complains of emotional / behavioral complications as an adult from having grown up in single parent household which was abusive in various ways. A paramour / common-law spouse was present from child's age 6 through 18 but did not assume a parental role and fought bitterly with the child / adolescent versus parenting or nurturing them. Can therapy between adult child and physically missing parent (who was actively present through electronic channels) be effective long distance now via webcam or other electronic means when in person therapy is not feasible between parent & adult child, given the 5000 miles between them? Would individual therapy for the adult child be more effective than therapy between parent & adult child with mental health practitioner to guide / moderate? Other self-help measures? Books to consult? Adult Child lives in Dublin, Ireland, btw...if that lends to any ideas.
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Answered in 1 hour by:
11/7/2017
Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,569
Experience: Licensed Psychologist
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What would be the purpose or goal of therapy and would both individuals be willing to participate?

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
The individuals have communicated via webcam many times in the past so there should not be a problem doing so again, equipment and time permitting. The goal would be to help the daughter "fill the hole" she feels inside from not having her father physically present during various points in her development growing up, and how now to cope with whatever deficiencies she feels she still has now as an adult from her father not being there and to hopefully find other ways to compensate for those deficiencies in healthy ways that would lead to growth and greater happiness / personal effectiveness in life.

I hear your concerns and I don't want to dissuade you from therapy. I think getting the two people together to talk about their issues can be beneficial. However, rehashing old issues may get both people stuck in the past. I think the final solution is to have forgiveness to the parent. This, as I see it, is the only true way of healing and moving forward in life. Being stuck in the past will keep a person feeling bitter and resentful. Looking forward to forgiveness and building relationships would be my idea of growth.

Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,569
Experience: Licensed Psychologist
Verified
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