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Cher
Cher, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 21380
Experience:  Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
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My 4 yr old grandson has said that he has been licking "bums

Customer Question

My 4 yr old grandson has said that he has been licking "bums and willies" with someone at nursery. We have spoken to nursery and they have said he has never been left alone for this to happen. Today he has said to his little female friend "lets play bums and willies" is this normal or should we be worried that some sort of abuse could be happening?
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: My Grandson first started saying these things after the death of his other nana, he first disclosed to me when i gave him a new teddy bear and he put it on his other teddy and said "look grandma its licking his bum" then turned it over and said "its licking its willie" when i asked wher he had got that from he said Two boys at nursery lick bums but he doesnt cos its naughty but he shows his bum. We are very worried and dont know what to do. We have spoken to nursery and they have put measures in place for safegaurding
JA: I should have chatted with the Psychologist on a daily basis with my two kids. And maybe about my brothers, too. You are so doing the right thing getting in touch with one of them. I'm sending you to a secure page on JustAnswer so you can place the $5 fully refundable deposit now. While you're filling out that form, I'll tell the Psychologist about your situation and connect you two.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

Hello, Glynis and welcome.

Thank you very much for your patience, due to your question not being answered earlier. Different experts are online at various times, and I recently logged in and read your question.

I definitely think you (and his parents) have a reason to be concerned and need to follow up with this, more in depth. Ask if the school has any cameras in the classrooms, corridors, and/or outside in the playground, etc., and what measures are being taken to watch your grandson and the other children, regarding this behavior. I don't doubt that something is going on, after reading your description of what your grandson has said and demonstrated with his teddy bears. He didn't make this up--he's too young; it has to have come from a real life experience.

I'm glad that you mentioned this situation began after the loss of his other nana (my condolences), because the grief he experienced could have been transferred into this kind of behavior.

It might be a good idea to arrange for him to speak with a school psychologist (if they have one) or a private child psychologist who will know the right questions to ask and get more information leading to the main cause of this behavior and then it can be resolved.

I hope all goes well with your grandson.

Please be so kind as to rate my answer with positive feedback; that is the only way I receive credit for my assistance. Thank you very much!

Providing a positive rating will not end our conversation, should you need me for any follow-up. Simply click 'Reply' for clarification or additional information, if needed, and I will be glad to continue.

Warmest regards,
Cher

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
With all due respect I really wanted an answer from a child psychologist/psychiatrist or even a Child protection social worker I really dont think you are qualified enough to answer my question?
Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

Hi again, Glynis and thanks for your reply.

I understand, completely and you are more than welcome to continue to wait for an answer from a child psychologist.

I feel I am qualified to answer your question because I have 4 decades of experience as a teacher (we do receive training in child psychology, as well), and I am a parent, myself.

If you wish to wait for an answer from a child psychologist, that's fine.

My primary focus is always on the good health and psychological well-being of your grandson.

Warmest wishes,

Cher

Expert:  Cher replied 1 year ago.

please disregard; sent in error.