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Vanessa,LMHC, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 30
Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor and parent
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My daughter has been shunned by a group of friends. She is

Customer Question

Hi. My name is ***** ***** my daughter has been shunned by a group of friends. She is 14 in grade 10. She has only known most of them for a year but one of them for 6 yrs. there doesn't seem to be any reason for it. My daughter is somewhat shy in large groups but never one on one.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Vanessa,LMHC replied 1 year ago.

Hello Chris and thank you for sharing information regarding your concern. Your daughter sounds like she is experiencing a difficult situation. As a parent, it is also very hard to see your child going through such an experience. The group your daughter is being shunned by don't sound like they are true friends and aren't deserving of your daughter's time. If she ignores them and does her best to avoid them, they will likely not have much to go on and will tire of paying her negative attention. It will be important that she receives messages at home to remind her that she is worthy of love and friendship and that the actions of others who are cruel, immature, and so forth do not define who she is as a person. Perhaps she can become involved in activities outside of that group where positive relationships are more likely to develop (clubs, sports, church, etc.) If the shunning continues and bullying results and if it is occurring at school, the school faculty and staff should be made discreetly aware so that the can monitor the situation. If it is a neighborhood issue, law enforcement can intervene if the situation escalates. Another possible approach is to communicate with the other parents, although this may not have the desired results you are seeking. Often, the person being treated badly (shunned, bullied, etc.) has positive qualities that are resented by the shunners, bulliers, etc.) Make sure your daughter doesn't internalize the negative messages and sees that she is not deserving of such treatment. For teenagers, it can feel like life is ending when such a situation occurs because social involvement is important to them. Encourage her to remember that high school is temporary and that life will continue afterwards and there will be many opportunities for happiness. Counseling may be beneficial if the situation does impact her to the point that she becomes depressed. I truly hope everything works out for the best with your daughter!