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I have recently been informed by childrens aid that they have

I have recently been informed...
I have recently been informed by children's aid that they have verified that my ex has sexually abused our 3 year old daughter and his 7 year old son from a previous marriage. The criminal investigation is still ongoing and no charges have been laid yet. Children's aid wants to do supervised access for my daughter to see her dad at the children's aid office. I feel that any parent that has done this to a child should not have any access especially without any therapy first. I do not find it appropriate for him to be allowed to see her after doing something so horrible. What are my options here? Can children's aid allow this :(
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Answered in 12 minutes by:
11/15/2013
RealSupport
RealSupport, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Verified

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming painful reality you have been facing.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Coming to terms with the fact this serious abuse has happened is shocking for any parent in your shoes, as it could be very traumatic for children victims of it, not only in this period of their lives, but also deeply impacting their adolescence and adulthood, mental health and relationships, and it's obvious that your first maternal instinct is to protect your daughter from any further abuse, this is your right and responsibility, and this is why I fully support your concern and need to take some immediate action to protect her.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Now what is truly frustrating is the fact that he legally has the right to see her, but it is obvious such right should be reassessed because of these serious findings, once the child's integrity and well-being must be the top priority here.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The supervised access is a normal procedure and a step forward since he has not been charged with a crime yet, so their hand are tied on this matter as far as refusing him access to the child...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

But you can approach this in a very proactive way contacting a child rights advocacy foundation or a lawyer that specialize in custody cases to file a writ temporarily suspending his custodial rights until a hearing is scheduled regarding his fitness to be a parent, so to have access to your child.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The police and prosecution should give you details and guidance on how to proceed about it too, since as I just stated, the integrity, safety and well-being of your child are the top priority here, and everything you may do to prottect her from further abuse is not only acceptable abut necessary, and the law support you.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

Customer: So can I tell children's aid that I do not agree with the access?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely but you need to have the legal support limiting his access to your child, since the very law allows him to continue seeing her until he is charged for this crime, and that's why you need to get necessary support.

Customer: I just don't want to go against Children's Aid and then have my daughter taken away from not following them. I called children's aid for help but I can't let my daughter see this man because her behavior is starting to improve by not seeing him and I am afraid that it will start up all over again. Sexual behavior she is doing :(
Customer: Maybe I should wait to see if he is being charged. If he is charged then does he lose his access?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely that's why doing anything without necessary legal support would not help but undermine your ability to protect your child, then please comply with the law and get immediate competent support to use what the law entitles you to get in order to prevent exposing your daughter to him before he gets charged for his actions.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely, once he gets charged he would have to face all the consequences for such serious crime and his custodial rights would not continue.

Customer: So I should be contacting a lawyer ASAP
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Sure, I would do that without delay.

Customer: I can't afford a lawyer so could I get legal aid ?
Customer: Thank you so much. That was very helpful and I will be getting a lawyer to help me through this. Thank you
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then please look for a rights advocacy foundation or a community legal aid society for support

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

they would be able to help you since this is very serious and your child needs to be protected.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your trust.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as much as possible.

Customer: I appreciate that
RealSupport
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