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Hi and welcome. I'm a Licensed Master Social Worker with 20+ years experience working with individuals and families. I am also a mom of twins. When you use your hands to hit or swat what you are teaching him is that is the way to solve things and most likely you will soon see that he is using his hands.
I would set the ground rules before you go anywhere and be prepared to leave no matter what if he begins to misbehave.
It's not fun or pleasant but this teaches him that there are rules that are set and consequences that will follow.
I know you have done it differently with your children who are now grown and I am not saying you have done it incorrectly, I am only giving you alternative ways of handling it.
I will wait to hear back from you.
I do thank you so much! I will certainly try your above suggestion, to leave! Of course, no one would suffer but the older kids and my hungry self. I am sure at 2 years old, he could care less. He wasn't going to eat their food anyway. He has his own! My greatest fear is that if he does not STOP when I tell him, and I understand that you say it takes time, but in the meantime he runs into the street, I say STOP and he doesn't and gets run over by a car. This may sound a bit extreme, but it does happen. I hope I can get him under control using your method. I know my method works.I am certainly looking for alternatives.
Yes those things you describe may be scary and worrisome. you may also need to stay home and not go out to eat for a bit until you can work with him on other things around his listening. I know that suggestion is horrible as you all suffer because of that. Try and take the older ones out on their own if you can have someone watch the little one. this way they get some time alone with you and can all enjoy some time in a restaurant.