Parenting

Have Parenting Questions? Ask a Parenting Counselor for Answers

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Parenting

My son is 4 1/2. He has been going to a new daycare now for

Customer Question
3 months. He has...
My son is 4 1/2. He has been going to a new daycare now for 3 months. He has in the last month started hitting spitting and being defiant. He is not like this at home ever. I have only been told of three separate issues of this behavior. This last Thursday n Friday I got called from work to pick him up f.or spitting n hitting and because he didn't want to come inside. So they terminated him from daycare. I talked to his pediatrician and he will be talking to a therapist. But shouldnt the daycare have incident reports and especially for terminating him without any paperwork?
Submitted: 4 years ago.Category: Parenting
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Answered in 15 minutes by:
9/9/2013
Parenting Counselor: Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist replied 4 years ago
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Verified

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe I can help you with this situation.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I understand that you must be quite distraught with the manner in which this was handled by the daycare center.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

His behavior, which is not apparent at home, may be in reaction to a fear of bullying or mistreatment by other children and the inattentiveness of those supervising to handle the situation properly.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You will probably never know, for they certainly will not admit any responsibility, and are probably not subject to giving you any written document if not required by law.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Since this is a private institution and there was no injury involved, they can just terminate him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

The most basic step that you can take is to talk to him directly and ask him why he was so upset. He should not be blamed or punished in any manner, and I am certain that you have only been supportive of him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

This may not require therapy, and your son may not want to talk to a stranger.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Sometimes therapists can over-react and diagnose a child with behavior problems when the child is only reacting to a hostile environment.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Talk to your son very gently about this and see if there is a problem before you put him through too much stress of seeing another stranger.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I see you have entered the chat and look forward to getting some more input from you.

Customer :

He claims he doesnt know and doesnt remember. i believe alot has to do with him having transitional issues i wasnt aware of. but now i have to find a new daycare for him and his brother. i feel itll make the situation worse.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What will make the situation worse, the new daycare center?

Customer :

this was a licenced accredited daycare center as well

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What do you mean transitional issues? Do you mean separation anxiety? He was there for awhile before this happened.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Having a license or accreditation doesn't guarantee quality service or caring workers. One bad apple can also spoil the barrel.

Customer :

hes been there e3 months. he hits and spits and throws tantrums when its time to come inside or start another activity. but at home ive always warned him 10 minutes till dinner or one more caryoon then after its bedtime and ive never had a problem with him

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Perhaps he was in a center in which they did not have enough structure and discipline.

Customer :

now i have to scramble to find a new daycare and i think that will make him worse

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I think that you should take him to that therapist that your pediatrician has recommended. A one on one assessment would help in this case.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

A good child therapist will not frighten him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that with gentle guidance, he will be fine and be able to adjust to another daycare center.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What are your thoughts?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Here is one of the most helpful books ever written and may help you a great deal.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I wish you great success and shall keep you in my prayers.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
7,664 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Cher

Cher

Teacher

94 satisfied customers

Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2

Jennifer

Jennifer

School Psychologist

77 satisfied customers

Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.

professional_Alison

professional_Alison

Child Care

77 satisfied customers

Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

40 satisfied customers

Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Doctor

38 satisfied customers

PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy

Eveningstargazer

Eveningstargazer

Family Counselor

31 satisfied customers

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Family Counselor

21 satisfied customers

Licensed social worker and psychotherapist

< Previous | Next >

Related Parenting Questions
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher is preparing our child for a dance competition. She keeps telling the child not to be nervous , not to be afraid. It seems to produce an opp… read more
Gaurav Gupta
Gaurav Gupta
MD, CEO
Post-Doctoral Degree
22 satisfied customers
I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year
Hi Pearl I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year old boy. I would like to get some advice on how to calmly handle my two year old. He is quite a handful, and it gets especially frust… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
My 13 year old daughter currently lives with my parents (her
My 13 year old daughter currently lives with my parents (her grandparents). My current wife (her stepmom) and I are visiting my parents for the holidays with our two daughters. My daughter who lives w… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my boyfriend and I, we live together, and one of her biggest issues is that she doesn't stop lying, her lies go from “I didn't do it-to lying to… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with us. I've been with her mom for 10 years now and this child now adult has always been very selfish. She puts herself first for everything and … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as dysgraphia) which was diagnosed in grade one, but through the psych assessment we also learned he has extremely high cognitive ability. For … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to
i have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to teach him discipline because i don't wanna spank or hit. So ive been introducing tasks around the house. And geting him to say yes sir and no s… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has
Hi, I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has started spreading untruths this is a brief only Thank you janys… read more
CamilleRN
CamilleRN
Registered Nurse, Director of Nursing
4,150 satisfied customers
Dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think
dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think but when ever we will ask him to study he dont like. he make the face and you fell that he is sick. he sit long time for one subject to do hi… read more
danny541
danny541
Retired
608 satisfied customers
I raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me,
i raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me, to build a strong bond. i was a young single mom and did the best i knew how. i then ended up introducing someone into both of our lives th… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in school. I have put him on punishment, and he knows I am in constant contact with his teacher. It is not that he can't do his work, it is that he… read more
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Consultant Pediatrician
Doctoral Degree
2,246 satisfied customers
Whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in
whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in the orange county and LA area.… read more
Michael
Michael
Research Librarian
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
86 satisfied customers
This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a
(This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a parenting expert. I have a 5 year old pre-adoptive child in my home. I am her 5th placement in 3 years. This week, she received a diagnosis of… read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Associate Professor of Communication
Doctoral Degree
102 satisfied customers
My three year old turning four in September still isn't
my three year old turning four in September still isn't potty trained. When he was two and a half his grandmother saw that he accidentally pooped his pants had lost her mind held him on the toilet and… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step son argues with me about everything I say. I'm tired
I'm tired of it and want to say something in a loving way … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed away, she disinherited her daughter, B.D. *******, because B.D. ****** wrote a book about her saying that she was a drunk and all of that. In … read more
LegalGems
LegalGems
Juris Doctorate
10,720 satisfied customers
Far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled" Eyre"
far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte. In chapter one, ***** *****, the son of the Reed family, scolds Jane Eyre for reading one of the Reed family's boo… read more
Cher
Cher
Teacher
Masters Degree
94 satisfied customers
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl who will be 6 y/o on March, 2018 and my son who will be 3 years old this month (nov, 2017).Their personalities are very different and I'm very… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x