Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful note.
You did write something that clearly indicated a fear of kidnapping (being taken from you). "Momma, I think she's trying to keep me". Like ... 'you need to be aware of a danger here that you are not seeing'.
How else do you explain that statement? That kind of fear is one of the criteria for separation anxiety. He may not have the full diagnosable disroder but he may have some aspects of it, or something else is causing this anxiety.
Now that you have supplied additional information, I see your situation more clearly.
All disorders, including childhood disorders, do not have to fall neatly into one category or diagnosis. Diagnoses are abstract concepts placed over the behavior in order to define it, treat it, and sometimes to collect insurance payments which require a diagnosis.
Ian may have the inattentive type of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) which contributes to him faiing to pay close attention to details or make carelss errors in schoolwork. He may also have trouble keeping attention on tasks and play, which may be why he had difficulty with the coaches and the tutor. He may be easily distracted or forgetful, and may not follow through on instructions or direction.
Children with ADHD are often prone to more anxiety, and his anxiety seems to be focused on being taken from you, with that exmple I cited above as one indicator.
Ian is obviously intgelligent and very advanced socially. However, if he has trouble focusing on his academic tasks, then he needs some assistance.
Although ADHD medication is given to children with some positive results, I feel it is more prudent and safer to see a child psychologist who can assess him for ADHD and if he feels this is the problem, then he or she will use therapeutic techniques rather than medication. A child psychiatrist will probably go right to the medication. I don't recommend that course, except as a last resort.
He has a lot of good healthy pride and self-respect, as indicated his reluctance to reveal that he is going to a tutor. I believe that he will overcome this problem and learn to be a good reader.
Those reading guides I gave you will be helpful.
I also recommend the following book for you to consider. This book is good for parents of ALL children who want to enhance their children.
and finally I book that teaches children English and mannerly living using chants that are said out loud singly or in groups, a book that I was involved in writing.
I wish you great success in getting Ian back on track.