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KaterB1270, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 142
Experience:  BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
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Hi, My son is 16.5 months old. We have been working with

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My son is 16.5 months old. We have been working with 2 different sleep consultants for the past 2.5 months (first one had to take a leave of absence) and while they have helped our sleep situation, I am no longer using them, and we are still having serious issues getting him to bed at night.
Screaming for 20 mins- 1.5 hours sometimes. We tried the shuffle method at first, and that did not work. 3 nights at crib, then chair, then doorway etc. and it was too difficult for him having one of us in the room but not holding him. So, we would still have 2 hours of screaming with that. We then switched to Ferber method, 5, 10, 15. We had more success with that, but it was never "3 nights of crying and you're done". He would have a good night or two, then 3 night wakings with screaming like crazy. Or he would finally sleep through the night, but then 40 minutes of screaming before going to bed. Or go to bed great, and then up at 5:20am yelling.
What has seemed to work better for us lately, is putting him to sleep (this is of course after the exact same sleep routine every night-- play in room, lights dimmed, read 2-3 books, say goodnight to all of his animals, music bear on for 3 minutes and in crib, say goodnight and walk out) he stands up after we shut the door screaming. We learned that if we went back in within a minute or so, and picked him up and re-did the saying goodnight to his animals and spent another minute or two with him in our arms soothing him, that he'd go to bed easily without any crying. This was our method for the past 2 weeks, and he used to do this when he was an infant as well and I would breast feed him to sleep. If I layed him down and he screamed, I would pick up and let him nurse for another minute. Then I would lay him down again and he would be silent and go to sleep.
HOWEVER, past 3 nights, he has been screaming bloody murder even after our second go, and it has been 45-60 minutes of screaming. We have gone back to 5/10/15 and still the screaming.
Why do you think he has regressed? He was doing pretty well going to sleep especially for about a month -- with just a few minutes of fussing.
What would you recommend with this regression?
Specifically, tonight and last night, he will finally lay down, be silent for 6-10 minutes where I'll think he is asleep, and then he sits up and screams like crazy. Then he will lay back down because I don't go in, and repeat the same pattern.
I think he has finally exhausted himself by screaming now and is asleep, after 40 minutes.
Why after 2-3 months of training, is he still screaming so much? He was never a big cryer as a baby, and I was very conscious of not letting him scream and attending to him.
Do you have any recommendations for me? Thanks, Kim

Good evening,

Thank you for the details of what you have been doing to help you son fall to sleep and stay asleep longer. Have you discussed with you son's doctor other possible issues keeping him from resting comfortably? In my past experience I have seen children that have ear infections act similarly to your son. Please explain any information your doctor has shared and I will send my ideas as soon as I read your reply.



Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks Kate!

He was at the doc about a month ago and all was great. He isn't showing any symptoms of an ear infection, and is sleeping through the night (he'll have a slight night wake, and then put himself back to sleep) but we don't have crying in middle of the night anymore. No fever... or pulling on the ear. Is the only way to diagnose one to take to the doc?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Additionally, we spoke to her about sleep and she just said that "sleep training is a bear" and recommended CIO method. We have done this here and there, but the poor thing is just so inconsistent with his habits. He'll have 5 nights of going to bed great, and then 3 screaming like crazy past 3.

Thank you for your quick response. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you all. I think my next suggestion then would be to start paying to attention to his daily routines. I would start by keeping track of the foods he is eating, the amount of time he is sleeping during the day, and if there are activities for him to do so he is tired when he goes to sleep at night. I would also suggest a bath before bed as well. There are relaxation lotions that have lavender in them which would be good to use while doing massage on him. If you look up baby massage on line you will find many options and directions on exactly how to help the little guy to relax a little more. I would suggest once you have about two weeks of information to start looking over it to see if by chance maybe on the nights he has trouble going down he has had some gas producing foods or slept more during the day. I would also look into the possibility of playing classical music in his room while he falls to sleep. I know this can be soothing and also great for brain development. Once you have completed the sleep diary (which would be good to show his doctor as well) you will have a lot more to look at and play around with a bit to hopefully help him rest more consistently. I wish you the best of luck. If I can be of any more help please do not hesitate to contact me on here.

Best of luck,


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