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professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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My kids are constantly fighting. Both are girls 8 and 12, half

Customer Question

My kids are constantly fighting. Both are girls 8 and 12, half sisters. Neither sees thier dad, except my younger one has a closer relationship with my soon to be ex husband (her step dad) and they are both open about it in front of my oldest. They are always (not lying) but exagerating while tattleing on each other. Both call each other names, hit, my oldest is so bossy and my youngest just talks with this nasty attitude.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 4 years ago.

professional_Alison : Hello there, may I help you? I understand where you are coming from here. Here are a number of things you can try. First try to implement new rules of what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, sit them down together and explain clearly what you expect from now on. . Then base this discussion on rewards for good behaviour such as a special day, bowling, cinema or swimming. Explain the intention to separate the girls after one warning if the behaviour is unacceptable. It is very important to keep continuity and don't allow them to get away with it at all. Equally if they don't show effort to get along then the special day out gets pushed back by a week. It may take them a week or two to get used to te new rules but it will work as long as you are firm. I wish you luck.
Customer :

I did this word for word for 3 months and they still act like they want to kill each other

professional_Alison : Have you tried encouraging them to do some activities together such as playing a game, or making a cake. An activity which will encourage them to work together to achieve a result which is fun and enjoyable. Go shopping and give them both different lists of items you need, encourage them to work together an help each other to find the items on each others lists. A lot of praise is needed to change this behaviour. As soon as they step out of line, divert their attention away from whatever they were arguing about and get them involved in another activity. Planting in the garden, even washing the car!! Anything fun but together.