Parenting

Have Parenting Questions? Ask a Parenting Counselor for Answers

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Parenting

My son, who turned 6-years-old recently, stumbled onto some

Customer Question
naked pictures of women online...
My son, who turned 6-years-old recently, stumbled onto some naked pictures of women online about a month ago. The search he was performing wasn't to look for naked women, but somehow he was directed to the site. Both my husband and spoke to him about how our bodies are private, some things on the Internet are inappropriate, etc. Then, we turned the Internet access to the tablet off unless we were using it. Today, he was playing his learning games on the tablet, (or so I thought) while I was driving the car and he asked me how to spell "show". I pulled the car over and asked to see the tablet. I went to history and found that he had looked at a website entitled "kissing private parts" I was mortified. I looked at the site and saw pornographic images of women's faces next to men's penises (not engaging in oral sex) and a woman with her hands on a man's penis. I also saw men and women on top of each other in bed, etc. I have since installed an Internet browser that heavily filters searches, and disabled the regular Internet browser. I realize that this is not 100 percent effective. I also spoke with my son and told him that there are good and bad things online and people who post naked pictures of themselves online are not making good choices. I explained that I changed the browser to protect him and the computer from exposure to pictures that are inappropriate. I explained that the pictures he saw are not of things he should try to do or talk about with another child because our bodies are private. I also told him that if he has any questions about body parts or males or females, he can ask me at anytime without worrying about me being angry. He was caught three times last year pulling down his pants and underwear and showing his bottom to other children during nap time. Also, during the school year, he told me that he and another little boy went into the restroom stall together at school and "smelled each other's butts." We practice modesty at home, and I'm not sure where his behavior is coming from. I am so worried he is going to try to act out what he's seen online with another child at school or tell other children about it. Should I seek counseling for him?
Submitted: 4 years ago.Category: Parenting
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Answered in 1 hour by:
7/12/2013
Parenting Counselor: Dr. L, Psychologist replied 4 years ago
Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,168
Experience: Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
Verified

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

I can certainly understand your concern about your child's behavior and his exposure to pornographic type material on the internet. He is at an impressionable state in his development and you are right in wanting to be sure that he is not being exposed to things that are inappropriate for his age.

Dr. L :

Children are very curious beings. And as you already told him, the Internet is not the source you want him to rely on to learn about sexuality. I'm glad that you were able to lock the system tight!

Dr. L :

It does sound like you treated this episode (and the previous) in a sensitive, caring, and consistent manner....bodies are private and if you want more information come to mom and dad. I would back that up by getting him an age appropriate book about bodies. Here is a suggestion:

Dr. L :

http://www.amazon.com/Boys-Girls-Body-Science-First/dp/1550172360

Dr. L :

In one way, it is important to capitalize on his curiousity and expose him to books that you approve of. This will back up your statement that he should come to mom & dad and that you will be very happy to talk to him and answer his questions. It will also provide him with some information - hopefully what he learns will override any peer influence to "smell each other's butts".

Dr. L :

Teaching our children about sexuality and our bodies is something that is best delivered over many years, with many small chats, and with good books to back up our teaching. And...most of all...with an open door policy that allows them to continue to ask questions without fear of being shamed.

Dr. L :

I would not be so alarmed by the incident in the bathroom. This likely was boy play. But his pulling down his pants 3 times during nap time is more concerning. Did he explain this? Did he say where he saw that before (and therefore copied)?

Dr. L :

As to the counseling. You do not want to make this a bigger deal than it is and in so doing bring negative attention to his curiousity. Like many childhood behaviors, attention on the negative typically leads to more negative.

Dr. L :

What I suggest is that you monitor his behavior over the next month or so. If he makes an attempt to access any inappropriate sexual material on the internet, then consider having him see a child psychologist. As well, see how he handles a good book about the body. Does he become overly focused on body parts? Does he take down his pants around friends or neighbor children?

Dr. L :

Let's see if satisfying his curious mind with good, healthy material and open dialogue with you and dad gets him on the right track.

Dr. L :

I await your response.

Dr. L :

Thank you.

Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Ask Dr. L Your Own Question
Dr. L
Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,168
1,168 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist

Dr. L is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Cher

Cher

Teacher

93 satisfied customers

Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2

Jennifer

Jennifer

School Psychologist

77 satisfied customers

Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.

professional_Alison

professional_Alison

Child Care

77 satisfied customers

Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

1,168 satisfied customers

Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Doctor

38 satisfied customers

PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy

Eveningstargazer

Eveningstargazer

Family Counselor

31 satisfied customers

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Family Counselor

21 satisfied customers

Licensed social worker and psychotherapist

< Previous | Next >

Related Parenting Questions
The internet says that when actress, Bette, passed away, she
The internet says that when actress, Bette Davis, passed away, she disinherited her daughter, B.D. Hyman, because B.D. Hyman wrote a book about her saying that she was a drunk and all of that. In B.D.… read more
LegalGems
LegalGems
Juris Doctorate
10,176 satisfied customers
My husband and I have been looking for a home for 7 years
My husband and I have been looking for a home for 7 years and due to several of my restrictions and safety concerns have not been able to find one until now. My 8 year old daughter is on board and wou… read more
Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
Master's Degree
77 satisfied customers
I am very concerned about my 11 year old daughter. She has
Dear Sir/Madam, I am very concerned about my 11 year old daughter. She has been away from me for about 2 years, and finally now I am seeing her every weekend. She has always been a girl who loved pink… read more
Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
Master's Degree
77 satisfied customers
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl who will be 6 y/o on March, 2018 and my son who will be 3 years old this month (nov, 2017).Their personalities are very different and I'm very… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
What is my best defense against a group of people that are
what is my best defense against a group of people that are contributing to the delinquency of a minor?… read more
Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
Master's Degree
77 satisfied customers
My 2 yrs old just started climbing out her bed 3 nights ago.
Hi, My 2 yrs old just started climbing out her bed 3 nights ago. We switched her bed to toddler bed last night with side railing but then she refused to sleep in it. We had to put back her crib side b… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
My 8 years old daughters complains about everyrhing.
My 8 years old daughters complains about everyrhing. Sometimes when she tells me that she is feeling sick I don´t believe her because I don´t think it´s true. Latetly she has complain about pain in he… read more
Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
Master's Degree
77 satisfied customers
How can a 23 year old female work through / get over built
How can a 23 year old female work through / get over built up anger / resentment / feelings of loss over having grown up in a divorced home with need for both parents, not just one? This high-function… read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
446 satisfied customers
My daughter is 14 years old, my husband and I are very
My daughter is 14 years old, my husband and I are very protective, she feels we do not trust her, which is not the case, but we just don't trust the boys out there. We live in a good neighborhood, whi… read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
446 satisfied customers
I'm having problems w my 19yo stepson, he doesnt respect me.
I'm having problems w my 19yo stepson, he doesnt respect me. He's been living wiih us frm the age of 8yo. anything I say bothers him he is lazy, doesnt do anything in the hse just free loader, no coll… read more
Marie
Marie
506 satisfied customers
I am driving myself bonkers! My daughter 15 1/2 only child.
Hi ! I am driving myself bonkers! My daughter 15 1/2 only child. I am so terrified when shes not with me or in her room safe and sound! When she leaves for school, i pray for her safe trip, good day, … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I am having major problems with my 15 year old daughter. how
Hi, I am having major problems with my 15 year old daughter. how do you help. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
My daughter is 5 years old and doesn't finish her school
My daughter is 5 years old and doesn't finish her school work from talking so much. She is spoiled, and doesn't listen to anybody anymore. How do we get her to listen to authority without spanking her… read more
Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
Master's Degree
77 satisfied customers
My 9 year old son has these episodes where he crys loudly
My 9 year old son has these episodes where he crys loudly over small things like taking a shower. He's great at school and in sports but just has a bad attitude at home when he's asked to do something… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
54 satisfied customers
What should i do with an incorrigible teen? He dislikes mom,
what should i do with an incorrigible teen? He dislikes mom, won't go along with the rules, keeps running away using interesting methods of escape, wants his own job and apartment, thinks he's grown u… read more
Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
Master's Degree
77 satisfied customers
This is a hard topic to discuss and I feel like a broken
Second opinion] This is a hard topic to discuss and I feel like a broken record asking this and that about what to do about my and our kids situation.To summarize, my spouse and I had an argument whil… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
54 satisfied customers
My seven-year-old son has dyslexia and he is in second
My seven-year-old son has dyslexia and he is in second grade. He is reading but he reads slow. We are seeing great progress. He also has a tutor helping him that specializes in this disorder.With this… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
This is a hard topic to discuss and I feel like a broken
This is a hard topic to discuss and I feel like a broken record asking this and that about what to do about my and our kids' situation.To summarize, my spouse and I had an argument while drinking, and… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x