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My 3 andl a half year old grandson has begun acting as if he

is a baby, obviouly to...
My 3 andl a half year old grandson has begun acting as if he is a baby, obviouly to get attention. His mum works full time.She is worried that if she plays along
With this behaviour, she strenghtens it and she ignores it, he throws a tantrum. Please help!
Elizabeth Dockel
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Answered in 1 minute by:
6/21/2013
RealSupport
RealSupport, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Verified

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know about this challenging situation. Children do use different behaviors, acting out and making tantrums as ways to manipulate parents and other people to get what they want. they do it because they are smart and, learning a lot and very fast, and also because they do feel the need to be the center of attention, pleased, supported, protected and loved.

Customer: Please advise
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Problems happen when these tendencies, instead of being educated and directed in healthy ways, get distorted leading not only to non fulfilling children but to very destructive behaviors.

Customer: He is a very smart little boy, how does his mum handle his baby behaviour. He has no siblings
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Children, specially when young do need close and meaningful sharing, support and affection from both parents and significant others. Thus the first aspect to take into account is to assess how good are both parents meeting the basic emotional needs of this child, since it's from there that everything else about his development and growth evolve.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

She is right about the need not to reinforce these behaviors by allowing tantrums - manipulation, but sh needs to set enough quality time to meet his psychoemotional needs for direct sharing, love, play and everything else a child needs from parents.

Customer: He is very much loved, both his parents aunt and both sets of grandparents
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Many times children from parents who have full time jobs and do not have enough time to spend with children, present these behaviors, they want to get their attention, and find out that the most effective way to do so is by acting out.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

How much time a day do parents spend playing with him, taking care of his needs, helping him learning new things, and sharing together as a family?

Customer: Does she ignore him then when he acts like this?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Ignoring tantrums could work as long as with it goes other strategies like first identifying the real problem leading the child to act out, acknowledging his feelings and meeting his real needs, which does not mean spoiling him but providing healthy parenting and promoting good attachment and intimacy.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

She would talk to him as soon as he starts acting out, reminding him about things, what is acceptable and what is not, redirecting him towards a healthy alternative behavior-activity, listening what he has to say, taking the chance to teach him how to be wiser and healthier, then she would refocus n doing what she needs to do, without limiting the necessary daily time she needs to share with him for his healthy development.

Customer: Can I save your answers and get back to them when I see her later?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

balance between healthy discipline and affection is essential. he is challenging her, and she needs to use these situations to educate him about acceptable and healthy ways to express his feelings and to ask for support, affection and more.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely. They will remain here. You just need to copy and paste them or take note of the link to access it online: http://www.justanswer.com/parenting/7tuk2-andl-half-year-old-grandson-begun-acting.html

Customer: Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX not for wimps!
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please remember that this website is public and you have used your name in the postings, thus anybody could identify you here. If you would prefer, i could block access to it, but you would need to copy and paste its contents since nobody would be able to read it after I block it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome. yes, parenting as well as marriages as the most challenging human experiences in my opinion, and nobody train us for it, that'\s why we need to work on educating ourselves and looking for sound sources of support, including parenting classes and family counseling.

Customer: No need to block it, thanks again!
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Good. Thank you for your trust.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please feel free to contact me back for any further support. You could rate support in order to end chat session. Thanks again.

RealSupport
RealSupport, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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RealSupport
RealSupport
RealSupport, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
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