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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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Help! I am a single dad of a 9 year old boy. Today we are

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Help! I am a single dad of a 9 year old boy. Today we are supposed to be heading to a campground with his cub scout troop. He had slept over at a friends house last night and just came home. His buddy came to our house with him. When i said he needed to get his stuff packed up he proceeded to act tough in front of his friend and say he never agreed to go camping and that he would not be packing.

As calmly as i could (you could imagine my anger) i told him to go to his room and asked his friend to go home. I then went into his room where he was throwing a fit and said he was not going.

My delemia is i know he will have fun (he always does but sometimes he has it in his mind he wont only because he wanted to do something else) so i want to force him to go. Then again he behaved horribly by being defiant in front of his friend in our house so on the other hand i belive he should be punished and not get to go camping OR hang out with his friend. The Later is a problem because we are responsible for bringing certain supplies and if we do not go we will hurt the group.

what should i do?
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. By all means, you and your son need to go on the camping trip. If you don't, your son will feel like be has the upper hand and can control events in your father son relationship.

Also, there is the issue of defiance. Tell your son that you will not be spoken to in that manner. If it happens again, then impose consequences like taking away video or tv time, sports activities, or whatever else he really likes.

Nonetheless, take your son camping. That was the plan and stick by he plan!!!
He is only 9 years old. You have the control.

Happy camping. Have a great time.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thanks for your response and that is what i fully intended to do...until he told me i sent his friend home to an empty house because his parents left for the day. Aside from the fact that the kids parents acted irresponsibly by not calling me i am now obligated to take care of the other boy until his parents get home. Which throws out the camping trip altogether.

Now i just need to figure out an appropriate punishment to implement after his friend finally goes home!
Wow. I do feel your pain of now having to take care of your son's friend. Please let the parents know that you would appreciate knowing their whereabouts in case of an emergency or another unforeseen emergency. Also, the friend should have spoken up and stated that his parents were not home. Your son is making you feel guilty by telling you that his friend went home to an empty house. Admit your mistake to your son so that HE will realize that nobody is perfect.

When it comes to a consequence for your son, wait until his friend leaves. Ask him what he thinks an appropriate consequence will be to try to get him involved in taking responsibility for his actions. Your son probably will not have an answer. Therefore, have a back up plan. Whatever he likes, curtail that activity for a week. That should do the trick.

Good Luck to you and I hope you can still enjoy the weekend!!! Take care n
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