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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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I have an 7 year old boy and he can be very kind and gentle.

Customer Question

I have an 7 year old boy and he can be very kind and gentle. He does well in school and is always well behaved in school ,we have never got a complaint about behaviour this year. When he goes to daycare after school it's another story. He is obsesive and he gets very angry when things are not structured. If he sets up things just so and a kid grabs something he is palying with or if kids make comments and call him names he begins to rage. My son then flies into fits of rage where he throws things and runs and hides. He takes along time to calm back down. My husband and I have been called from work numerous times to deal with his rages. When we arrive he is calm but when we need to remove him acts up again. We ask them what happened to trigger the event and they say nothing he just started throwing things, my other son and my daughter say that kisd provoke him just to see him blow up.He feels like no one there wants him there and that he is being picked on. I know that he is not perfect but I would like some strategies about how to help the daycare manage him so my husband and I don't have to quit our jobs because no one want to keep him?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that are occurring with your son when he attends daycare. I would like to ask you a some questions so that I can thoroughly respond to your concerns.

*How long has your son attended daycare?
*Is daycare at the same school that your son attends?
*Does your son attend a public or private school?
*Do you pay for daycare?
*What are the ages of students at daycare and the ages/grades of the students bothering your son?
*How many students are in daycare? How many adults watch the children?
*How long is he in daycare after school?
*Are all daycare activities planned and adequately supervised?
*How old are your other children?

Thank you in advance for your responses!!!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

*my son daycare for 2 years now,

*it is at the same school he attends,

*he attends public school,

*yes we pay for daycare,

*ages of the kids in attendance are ages 5-10 students his age in *another class and students older than hin grades 3 and 4,

*anywhere from 10-13, there are two people watching them,

*daycare last 2 hours,

*there only seems to be a snack and then free time,

*one stays in the office area and one watches kids during free play,

*my daughter says that she talks to the kids who are bothering my son but they keep doing it,

*My children are 5 and 9.

This seems to happen when there is competition or unstructured time

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for your responses. Here are some things that you may want to try.

Voice your concerns and awareness of your son's inappropriate behavior with the daycare supervisors. Make sure that they are adequately supervising the children at all times. The supervisors really will not change their techniques. However, you must be aware of a lack of supervision.

Oftentimes children act up and act out because they are bored. Planned activities would redirect their boredom. Maybe suggest that to the daycare. Otherwise it is just a free for all.

Teach your son how to tell the daycare workers when he feels like he is being bothered at the first signs of trouble.

Teach your son how to react when students bother him through role playing activities at home. You act as the other children. Your son acts as himself. Teach your son how to walk away and how not to have outbursts. He needs to learn anger management and how to resolve conflicts in a more positive manner. However, he must be taught.

Discuss with your son the aspects of bullying which is so prevalent in our schools today.

Keep a daycare behavior chart. The daycare may want to keep one as well. When your son has a great day at daycare without any outbursts or fits of rage, he then gets a sticker. When the week is over, reward your son with a special treat or a special outing if he has achieved a predetermined (by you) number of stickers. The goal is to reward positive behavior while trying to eliminate the negative. Children often will try incredibly hard to please when there is some type of incentive involved.

Nonetheless, it will be hard to change the behavior management techniques of the daycare workers as well as the negative behavior of the children bothering your son. So therefore, you must try to work on the behavior of your son. That's all that you really can control.

Hope this provided you with some direction and insight. Have a great Friday and an awesome weekend.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks so much for your advice and thank you for your time. I have a meeting with our daycare provider and we will mention your suggestions. Thank you

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
You are so welcome. Let me know how things work out! Take care.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Thank you so much. Let me know how things work out. Take care.