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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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I have a 9 year old girl who is consistently negative. She

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I have a 9 year old girl who is consistently negative. She has a 7 and 5 year old brother. I have tried to instill "positivity". What can we do to promote positive thinking?
Hello and thank you for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the constant negativity that your daughter is experiencing. I need a little background information about your daughter to assist me in thoroughly answering your question.

How does your daughter perform academically at school?
Does she have a lot of friends?
What are her strengths? Artistic? Athletic? Academic?
Has she always been negative?
Have there been in family or school major changes recently that may have affected your daughter?

Thank you in advance for your responses so that I can better serve you!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Great in school and loves to learn.

A few friends. Not many.

Academic and guitar.

Pretty much negative. We are bewildered where the negativeity comes from. **There is a sibling rivalry between her and the 7 year old. Has become a habit between the 2. She is sweet with the 5 year old.


No recent changes and a stable and loving home.



Wow. It sounds like you have a great daughter except for the negativity. I will provide you with a few suggestions .
Hello again. Your daughter probably may also have low or a lack of self esteem coupled with her negativity.

To assist your daughter in trying to become more positive, you may want to try a few of these things.

1. Seek on going counseling from a school psychologist or seek a referral from your daughter's pediatrician . Your daughter can learn positive coping skills. You want to rule out depression as well.

2. Spend quality time with just your oldest daughter doing things that she really enjoys. Make her feel special.

3. Have her start a response journal. Have her write down things that are bothering her. Then you can respond to her troubles always in a positive way. Sometimes children can express themselves more in writing.

4. Make sure your daughter is not being bothered by anyone at school or anyone in any other situation. Always keep the lines of communication open and honest.

5. Have her feel like a leader. She should be feeling like that anyway as the eldest child. Make her realize how important it is being the oldest child and how her siblings look up to her. She needs to be a good role model for them.

6. Keep your daughter involved with other children her age such as in sports. If she is on a team of some sort, she will learn a lot about winning and losing and keeping a positive attitude as an individual while working as a team.

7. Display her school work on the refrigerator when she does well.

8. Teach your daughter about not being so critical. Start rewarding her when she says positive things. Or even reward her if she can get through a day without saying anything negative. Keep a reward chart. For each day that she is positive or does not say anything negative, give her a sticker or star. At the end of the week, if she has a certain amount of stickers or stars predetermined by you, then give her a special treat or take her on a special outing. The goal is to pay less attention to the undesired behavior and reward the desired behavior so that the desired behavior will become more prevalent.

9. Try to remain happy and calm even when your daughter is negative. She may be acting negative to get attention from you as she competes for attention that may be given to her siblings.

10. Last of all, shower her with lots of love. Tell her that it is fine not to like some things in life. Every one feels that way at times. It's normal. But remind her that you are so proud to have her as your daughter and always want the very best for her.

Hope this was helpful and provided you with a little insight.

If you need more assistance, please let me know. Thank you and have an awesome evening.

proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

That was amazing for such a short response. Great, actionable advice. You did your good deed of the day. Thank you and we will implement some things we are not doing. Thanks again.

You are very welcome. Do stay in touch if you need more assistance. Just request proexpert37 to ensure that your question is directed to me. I wish you and your family much happiness in the enjoyable years ahead. :)