Parenting

Have parenting questions? Ask a parenting counselor for answers

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

This answer was rated:

Thank you very much for your kind and helpful words. I agree…

Thank you very much for...
Thank you very much for your kind and helpful words. I agree it is probably time to talk about this with her.

Can you give us any suggestions on how to well, even begin the conversation, and how to keep her interest. Sometimes when she isn't interested in whatever we may be talking about we get the rolling eyes, etc... Then I think we end up sounding like we are basically trying too hard, and then end up trying to give her some sort of compensation to make up for the awkwardness. In the end, never really get anywhere. You can just see by her expression that she kinda knows how uncomfortable we are and we are trying to "please" her so to speak.

Thank You in advance!
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Answered in 25 minutes by:
4/2/2013
camd2000
camd2000, Parent Coach/Therapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 13
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Child and Family Therapist, Parent Educator and Mother.
Verified

camd2000 :

It might be helpful if you talk with your daughter alone. She might feel more comfortable opening up because it is one-on-one and because you are her mother. She might be more willing to be honest about the specifics of what she is worried about, especially if they are related to your previous marriage or to your current partner. I would start by taking her out to do something she likes, or going into her room, or better yet when you are driving somewhere (children often open up more when in a car or distracted by another activity - throwing a ball around, drawing, whatever she might like to do). It is less intimidating for them. You could start by acknowledging that this is a big change and change is hard for everyone. You can talk about a change that was hard for you or even acknowledge any potential anxiety you have about the change. It normalizes it for her and validates her feelings. Then, encourage her to tell you what she is worried about. If she is not able to say (and is still open to continuing talking), you can suggest some things that you think it might be. I wonder if you are worried about how this will impact our relationship, I wonder if you are worried about getting used to living with a new person, I wonder if you are worried that this marriage will end like it ended with your father? The more open you are, the more likely your daughter will be open. It takes time to open up difficult conversations like this. So, you don't need to push it if she doesn't want to talk about it. Give it time, let her know you are there to talk about it if she wants to and cease opportunities that are calm and try and talk to her again about it. If she is still unwilling to talk about it, you can talk to her about a time when you were anxious about (and didn't have control over) a change. If your daughter begins to open up, acknowledge and validate her feelings, ask her what she thinks would make the transition easier. Once you have some success talking to her on your own, I would slowly reintroduce your partner into the conversation. Use some of the ideas your daughter gives you about easing the transition to be a conversation starter with your partner.

camd2000 :

Hopefully this helps answer your question. I wish you all the best and would love to hear back if you have further questions or for an update on how things go. Good luck!

camd2000
camd2000, Parent Coach/Therapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 13
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Child and Family Therapist, Parent Educator and Mother.
Verified
camd2000 and 87 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a parenting counselorLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask camd2000 Your Own Question
camd2000
camd2000
camd2000, Parent Coach/Therapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 13
13 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Child and Family Therapist, Parent Educator and Mother.

camd2000 is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Cher

Cher

Teacher

108 satisfied customers

Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2

Jennifer

Jennifer

School Psychologist

77 satisfied customers

Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.

professional_Alison

professional_Alison

Child Care

77 satisfied customers

Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

40 satisfied customers

Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Doctor

38 satisfied customers

PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy

Eveningstargazer

Eveningstargazer

Family Counselor

31 satisfied customers

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Family Counselor

21 satisfied customers

Licensed social worker and psychotherapist

< Previous | Next >

Related Parenting Questions
My 8 year old daughter kissed the neighbor girl who is the
My 8 year old daughter kissed the neighbor girl who is the same age as her. I found out because the little girl's father came over and explained to me that his daughter was upset before being put to b… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
57 satisfied customers
My six year old daughter refuses to go to a day camp (9a-3p)
My six year old daughter refuses to go to a day camp (9a-3p) that our town runs. It's a fun camp with sport and arts and crafts. I know she has a hard time without a good friend being there. We want t… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
Hi new day nursery for our 4-year old daughter. She was used
Hi new day nursery for our 4-year old daughter. She was used to a place where they were only 4 kids total. They are now 80 total! Huge change. So she is shy and doesn't play much with the other kids. … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
My 21 year old daughter is dating a boy who my husband and
My 21 year old daughter is dating a boy who my husband and I don't really care for. He's nice enough, but has many character flaws that are hard for us to overlook. They have been dating for a little … read more
earthsister
earthsister
Owner/Operator Earths Rotation Childcare
Bachelor's Degree
111 satisfied customers
My daughter graduated 8th grade from a Catholic Private school
My daughter graduated 8th grade from a Catholic Private school that she had attended since Kindergarten. I could not afford to send her to our local Private High School, even WITH financial assistance… read more
Jen Helant
Jen Helant
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
365 satisfied customers
My 15 yr old daughter will not listen to me! I am a single
My 15 yr old daughter will not listen to me! I am a single parent, and she pretty much does whatever she wants....It make s me crazy, and I have taken away her computer, phone, etc.... but she still s… read more
earthsister
earthsister
Owner/Operator Earths Rotation Childcare
Bachelor's Degree
111 satisfied customers
I certainly believe it is unusual and would be viewed as inappropriate
I certainly believe it is unusual and would be viewed as inappropriate by most people that a father and his nearly 16- year- old daughter have "tickle fests" among the other ways that they horse aroun… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
My 11 year old daughter is a tom boy. She has been for the
My 11 year old daughter is a tom boy. She has been for the last 3 years, specifically. She dresses in boys clothes (won't wear girls jeans and t shirts), likes to go to barbers and gets boy's haircuts… read more
proexpert37
proexpert37
Educator
Master\u0027s Degree
691 satisfied customers
I am divorced now have been for about 18months. I had to leave
I am divorced now have been for about 18months. I had to leave an abusive relationship-- it got to the stage where i felt i didnt have a choice--his verbal abuse and manipulative behaviour was so bad.… read more
Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC
Master\u0027s Degree
7 satisfied customers
I have two children ages 9 (daughter) and 7 (son). My son
I have two children ages 9 (daughter) and 7 (son). My son adores my daughter and she barely tolerates him. Okay - that's not entirely true. At times they are the BEST of friends, laughing, creating ne… read more
MaryA.
MaryA.
Teacher, Parent
Master\u0027s Degree
4 satisfied customers
Hello. We live in Australia, and my daughter is 12 yro just
Hello. We live in Australia, and my daughter is 12 yro just started high school. Since started high school, she changed a lot, so much into going out with friends, very attached to her Facebook and Sk… read more
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane
Doctoral Degree
385 satisfied customers
big blow up with 15year old daughter great kid great grades
big blow up with 15year old daughter great kid great grades very sporty dosnt go without a thing. Generaaly great daughter but her mouth is getting worse feel no respect. I feel when things go wrong i… read more
proexpert37
proexpert37
Educator
Master\u0027s Degree
691 satisfied customers
I have a 10 yr old daughter who is very disrespective towards
I have a 10 yr old daughter who is very disrespective towards me she never speaks to me these days she shouts at me she throws things at me she goes from room to room leaving a mess she never puts thi… read more
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
Doctoral Degree
1,564 satisfied customers
My 15 year old daughter had a neighborhood friend she grew
My 15 year old daughter had a neighborhood friend she grew up with 5 years ago (for 5 years they were friends). As they got older and we moved (when she was 10).. they had different interests. We have… read more
Cher
Cher
Teacher
Masters Degree
108 satisfied customers
I have a seven year old daughter that has been kissing another
I have a seven year old daughter that has been kissing another girl and I am not sure what to do. Please help.… read more
Walter
Walter
Just Answer Consultant
6,024 satisfied customers
my daughter is 16 in Jan. she just had a fight, broke up, I
my daughter is 16 in Jan. she just had a fight, broke up, I dont know with her boyfriend and she has locked her self in her room. All she says to me is "Get Out", Goodbye" Leave me the F alone. She wo… read more
Charlene Hertzberg
Charlene Hertzberg
Bachelor's Degree
38 satisfied customers
My 2 month old daughter has her nights and days mixed up
My 2 month old sleeps pretty much from the time she has her bath and bottle in the morning, anywhere from 9 to 11, until around 6-8 in the evening. Then she is up all night. How can i switch this arou… read more
Charlene Hertzberg
Charlene Hertzberg
Bachelor's Degree
38 satisfied customers
how do we tactfully show our dislike of our daughters
It is her first boyfriend. She is a very good girl and we dont want to make a huge deal about this but the boy cannot keep his hands off her. His touching is not out of the ordinary for a longer term … read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
853 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x