How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask JACUSTOMER-jkqny9ef- Your Own Question
JACUSTOMER-jkqny9ef-, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 20
Experience:  K-12 teacher w/ licenses from NV, FL and OH
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
JACUSTOMER-jkqny9ef- is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 6.5 year old boy (1st born) dropped a box of toy money with

This answer was rated:

My 6.5 year old boy (1st born) dropped a box of toy money with different values of coins and paper money on the floor and the pieces were all over the place. He cried and asked for help to put them back the grids. By the way, we know he can do it himself and he is smart and he learned that skills in the school, too.

We told him he needed to pick up the brown ones (pennies) which is just one kind of many kinds and then we can help him with the rest. He heard that and kept whining "I need help and I don't know how to sort them all."

We said, "That is fine. You just do the brown ones (pennies). We'll help you with others."

He kept crying "why don't you help me now."

We said, "we will help you after you do the brown ones."

He kept saying "I need help."

We repeated "Can you do the brown ones? It is not difficult and you know how to do it."

"But I need help. I do not how to do sort them."

"It's ok, don't worry about the others now. we will help you with other money. You would need to pick up the brown ones first. Then we will help you."

"But I want to you help me now. Why don't you help me now? I don't know how to sort them."

"It is your responsibility to pick them up. You need to do the brown ones first and we will help you."

"But I don't know how to sort them."

"You don't need to do others. Just pick up the brown ones."

... on and on and on.

At the same time, the younger son (4.5) went there and picked up the brown ones and put them to where they were.

Sorry for the long post. My question is: what did the older son really want? why didn't him go to do the brown ones as we told him to instead keep saying "I want help"?

Thank you for your help in advance :)

It sounds like it could be a combination of things that could have provoked this reaction for your 6.5 year old. He could have be overwhelmed by the mistake itself (stuck in the mistake) and frustrated that he has to repeat the work already done.

Your son could have been overwhelmed by the scale of the task, not seeing a way to start the project (even with your suggestion).

I would have suggested at the moment, seeing his frustration, to chunk the task into smaller pieces. Ask him to pick up three of each kind and then ask for three more or if his brother was picking up the pennies, make a game out of it. Who can pick up the most coins in 1 minute. If neither of this ideas worked, I would get him to walk away from the situation and get a drink or complete another task to remove him from the emotion of the situation.

If the moment continues to be a problem and/or is a success, I would talk to him a little bit after the incident with him about how he was feeling, how he dealt with it and commending him about what he accomplished.

JACUSTOMER-jkqny9ef- and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for your reply. It seems he was resisting to go to the accident spot by himself and he wanted someone to go with him.

Sounds like a great teaching moment to build confidence and how to handle adversity. If there is anything else I can help you with, let me know.