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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1525
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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Talking with young daughter about touchy subject. We have

Resolved Question:

Talking with young daughter about touchy subject.

We have talked with our 6 year old daughter before about not letting people touch her "private parts" and what to do if someone tried to or did. We would like to stress the point even stronger now as we have some suspicions about a family member who she trusts. (Cutting this person out of her life is not an option right now).

What is the best way to go about this with-out naming any one person, or making her think we are talking about this person - yet still get the point across as to where she will understand this and not scare her.

Any advice or guides you can point me to would be helpful.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.

Dr. G. :

Can you list off people's names and see what her reaction is? So you are not singling people out.


I don't think it would be a good idea to name off this persons name when having this conversation, as we don't want it going back to him that this topic was being discussed with her and his name anywhere near it.

Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.
What would be the repercussions if it did get back to that person?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Beyond anything we want to deal with as this is a parental figure who we have to do drop-offs and pick-ups with. With-out any solid evidence we don't want to make this person think we are putting in her mind that this is a bad person, because that is not the goal. The goal is simply to make her aware of what is acceptable, unacceptable behavior of people around her, including people that she may trust. Stressing - people that she may trust - not just "strangers".

Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.
If you suspect this particular person then I think addressing it with the child is the best way to do this. However, if you are just saying in general what to do then get the book How to Talk to Your Child About Sex. This teaches all the basics at age-appropriate level. At this point, have ongoing discussions, not everyday but ongoing, about good touch bad touch. I would buy the book first and go from there for more specifics. Dr. Laura Berman is the author.
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