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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have my bachelors degree in psychology. I worked with children. Since then I have raised and still raising 3 wonderful boys.
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I have a 28yr old son who since coming home from university

Customer Question

I have a 28yr old son who since coming home from university 3years ago has a very deluded idea that he can make a living out of gambling. Before he went to uni he was an out going chap who had a good job which he gave up to go to uni , he a good social life and lots of good friend, he now has none of these things. Unless I push him to go out he just sleeps and sits in his room with his computer, he doesn't even come down stairs to say hi if anyone comes to our home. He is an only child who is mine and not my husbands we have been married for 24yrs, he has been a good step dad and he and my son get on very well, I do find it very difficult to speak to my son I get very emotional and we end up arguing. This is just a small outline of our situation . I hope you can help
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 4 years ago.

jenhelant :

WeHi, I understand why you would be concerned about him since gambling could be a dangerous way to support himself. It is much better used as a hobby rather than a way of life. He may have an addiction. In this case I would suggest he gets help for this. He may be unable to see things from your view if he is addicted. I would express your concerns to him trying not to judge or point fingers. Be very sincere and show your love and concern. This will help him to not become defensive. Sometimes tough love is the best way to go. Right now he is living with you , so the power is in your hands. It is your roof and your rules. Despite his age he is sti being dependent on you. You may want to consider letting him know that he needs to get help and do something productive in order to stay with you. If he is grown enough to make his own decisions then needs to also support himself in order to make his own decisions. I know it is difficult as a parent, but sometimes actions is what will help change a child to grow into a mature individual. It can be a tough road, but then in the future you will see results from your firmer actions. I wish you all

jenhelant :

well and please let me know if I can be of further help.