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Ask earthsister Your Own Question
earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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My college freshman daughter has been calling and texting me

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My college freshman daughter has been calling and texting me a lot, since I am going through a divorce and she's adjusting to being in college, I've found myself torn between wanting to let her figure things out on her own, and not making her feel abandoned. What is your advice on changing this?

earthsister :

Hello, I would like to help with your question today.

earthsister :

Your daughter is obviously staying in close contact since their is so much going on in both of your lives, and not only does she need the support, but she probably figures you could use it too.

earthsister :

Is the divorce with her father?

Customer:

I know, therefore I felt torn about it.. yes it's with her father

Customer:

and he has anger management issues, no doubt she worries for me

earthsister :

You two (you and your daughter) definitely need each other now. Yes, answer her texts, talk to her on the phone whenever you both are available, she certainly needs you now. Does she have siblings?

Customer:

she has a brother she isn't close to

earthsister :

Do they both share you and her father as parents?

Customer:

I wanted her to feel like she didn't need to call me first, to try to work things out over at her school with her friends first.

Customer:

yes, same father.

earthsister :

Yet, it's not just the advice she may need, she's concerned about you as well.

earthsister :

Just being able to stay in close contact with you may do her heart and mind a world of good.

Customer:

OK. I just thought maybe I was enabling her to feed her insecurity by being there as a safety net all the time

earthsister :

Well, I don't think you should solve all of her problems for her, but always be there to listen and to let her know that you are ok. She will have to figure out some things for her self, but at this tender time, with both her moving on to a whole new world away from you, and this divorce between you and her father, she really needs you to help keep her grounded right now.

Customer:

you're right. Thanks for your help.

earthsister :

You are certainly welcome. If you have any other questions, or need further input, please don't hesitate to message for me, "earthsister." I wish you the best!

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