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SREED177, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 220
Experience:  I have a Master's In Marriage and Family Therapy, and have been in the field for 4 years.
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My 6 year old son gets upset a lot with me,he starts shouting

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My 6 year old son gets upset a lot with me,he starts shouting and saying rude words to me,what should I do at that time?thanks

Sylvana vella
It is normal for children your sons age to test boundaries. But one thing that you have to do is start by giving him consequences for his actions. So first, when he gets upset, shouts, or is rude to you. You tell him that what he is doing and saying is wrong (be specific) and that if he continues he would have to sit in timeout. When he continues to do the same action, then you must follow through on the consequence and put him in time out. Do not reason with him or respond to him crying, just walk him over put him in time out and walk away. When he sits in time out if he continues to yell and have outburst, tell him that he has to sit in time out for 6 minutes and that his time does not start until he is quiet. If he tries to get out, then walk him back over and tell him that he times does not begin until he is quiet. This may take some time the first few times. But once he gets he gets used to what you are doing, and once you are consistent with it. You will see his behavior shift.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.
What if I send him time out and I set the timer for 6 mins and he starts to shout after 3 mins?
Then kindly tell him that he needs to calm down and that he has three minutes left. Tell him that the remainder of his three minutes will start when he calms down and stop crying. Stop the timer so that he can see it, and when he stops shouting resume it again. And only make him do the 3 minutes that he has left. Not start over, that would be hard for him.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Do I give time out to my 11 yr old son too?or is it too babyish for him.if yes how long should I keep him?Thanks.
Yes I think that you can do a time out for an 11 year old, 11 minutes for the time. I do think that for an 11 year old, he can understand the value of taking things away from him. (ie video games for a day, or tv). I think this punishment would be better.