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Cher, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 90
Experience:  Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
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My son is 32, he was adopted by us when he was four years old.

Customer Question

My son is 32, he was adopted by us when he was four years old. He had a pretty awful adolescence, but at 21 decided to go to university. We helped him financially, during this time the excuses for needing more money multiplied. He now has a Maste of architecture, but cannot find a job, he appears to be in limbo. He can manage to manipulate me, his mum to a huge extent. Although he is looking for jobs, he will spend half of the day in bed, when we feel he should be more pro-active. There have been numerous instances of me giving him money and then it has been spent on alcohol. Last week he asked me to give him a lift to the dentist, he had made the appointmen, I was paying for it, when I went to pick him up, he had been drinking, did not cancel the appointment and I was left knocking on his door until he eventually answered and was very rude to me and told me to go away. He is not living at home, I then left it at that, and he did not get in touch for several days, when he rang and wanted to meet for a coffee. At first I agreed, and then I thought about it, as I knew if I met him on his own, I would be 'sucked' in again. He seems to always turn things around as though the problem was mine. I said that he, his dad and myself should meet to talk about things and it would not be confrontational, it has now been left at that. It has left me feeling very low.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.
What can I help you with?
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.
please respond.
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.
please respond