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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have my bachelors degree in psychology. I worked with children. Since then I have raised and still raising 3 wonderful boys.
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My 25 year old son moved back home this past July. He graduated

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My 25 year old son moved back home this past July. He graduated from University with an honours degree in psychology. He is currently working on his submissions for graduate school.
He has never been deprived of anything, has worked hard for his achievements, but has a history of helping himself to my limited money via my debit card, ( I trusted him with it), so I assume responsibility for that as this is the second time he has abused my trust.
He claims he was going to tell me, but didn't want to worry me with his financial issues. He is currently not working.

I feel very betrayed, because I trusted him again. I have not spoken to him yet, for fear of saying something that will end our relationship.

I know I must approach this with caution, the direction I want to take is listen to him explain, although, I believe his justification will be just lies, I want to offer this to him as a positive means of retribution.
1. I will give him 45 days to find part-time employment and start a re-payment plan, otherwise, I will tell him he needs to move out.
2. I want him to attend counselling.
What are your thoughts?

Twice bitten!

jenhelant :

Hi, I am so sorry this happened to you twice. As Mom it is so easy to fall into trap of wanting to help them and feeling bad to not that allowing them to take advantage, not learn and grow while taking advantage of us is always a high possibility. This is why it is important to not only use our hearts, but our minds as well. In this situation I feel that is what you are doing and I commend you for that. I understand how these options you are wanting to present to him must be so difficult for you, but I agree and think you are on the right track. By doing that you are showing him that you are there for him, but he needs to show responsibility and make some changes in order to stay with you. I think that is more than fair and feel you should go through with that. I also would no longer allow him to use your card since he has shown he can not be trusted. If he does not go long with what you say you should not feel that you are wrong and give in even though the temptation may be there because then he will not learn nor grow from this. I truly wish you well in this difficult time and please let me know if I can be of further help to you.


Thank you,

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